Google searches

Yma Sumac’s 94th birthdayGoogle is, far and away, the greatest source of traffic to this blog. Once upon a time, I could tell what searches led folks here, but a couple of years ago, Google stopped providing that data, for the most part. Too bad. That shit made me laugh.

Now, I’m left mostly to guess what people seek when finding me. Best I can tell, the vast majority of folks who find me googled “I want to lick your pussy.” And the rest? They googled “Hasidic porn.” And, apparently, paged down several pages to find me.

This suggests a collective failure on the part of Google and me. Surely, those searchers don’t like what they find here. And the ones actually looking for this blog? They Google something else.

I’m failing to connect with my actual audience via Google. (Microsoft apparently operates a search engine called “Bing.” And there’s something called “Yahoo.” Where Google is my #1 referrer, Yahoo is #11, and Bing is #16. After the Chinese search engine Baidu. Bing has literally 1% of the referrals to my blog of Google. I sort of delight in watching Microsoft fail.)

So what searches should lead people here? I target a reader who is female, sexually curious, submissive or exploring, smart, questioning, and not already deep in the world of the kinky and poly. What does she Google when she’s looking for what she could happily find here?

I have another target reader, too – with some overlap with that first group. I also target women and men thinking about compulsive sexual behavior, sex addiction, acting out, and the relationship between feelings/emotions and behavior, particularly of the sexual sort. What are these people looking for?

If I wanted to make money from this blog, if I sold ads and tried to maximize traffic in a remotely strategic way, I’d do all sorts of SEO shit, and pay someone to figure out the answers to these questions. That person would go through and set up meta tags for all my posts, and do all sorts of shit I can’t be bothered to do. S/he would add photos to posts, change the theme and the layout, and generally make things easier.

But I don’t have time for that. I thought I’d do something simpler, something crude. I thought I’d just make some lists of Google searches that I think should lead here, in hopes that merely publishing that list will actually cause the Googles to lead here.

Surely I’m wrong.

But lists are fun:

Searches that should lead here:

Sex blog (best sex blogs, dominant sex blogger, male sex blog, dominant male sex blog, poly sex blog, kinky sex blog, dom blog, dom blogger). [For all these, I linked to the Google searches for these terms, none of which turns me up anywhere near the top. Oddly. And I say “oddly” because look at what does turn up. Stuff from years ago.]

Dominance (domination, Dom, submission, submissive, sub, BDSM, collar, handcuffs, belts, spanking, instructions, orgasm control, orgasm denial, FetLife, good girl, sensual dominance, curious about submission, curious about dominance, Secretary movie)

Sex (fucking, oral sex, stamina, Viagra, threesomes, FFM, fantasies, group sex, masturbation, cock, orgasms, women coming, orgasm audio, women’s orgasms)

Non-monogamy theory (monogamish, poly, polyamory, Chris Ryan, Christopher Ryan, Sex at Dawn, Sex at Dawn sucks, Sex at Dawn review, open marriage, cheating, CPOS, The Ethical Slut)

Non-monogamy practice (swinging, online dating, OKC, OK Cupid, Tinder, sex clubs, sex party, sex parties, Le Trapeze, Chemistry, Behind Closed Doors, Checkmate, swingers clubs)

Porn (porn reviews, Amateur Allure, Only All Sites, Only Tease, Zishy, X-Art, SexArt, FTV Girls)

Sex addiction recovery (out of control sexual behavior, compulsive sexual behavior, Patrick Carnes, SA, SAA, SCA, SLAA, SRA, 12-step programs, recovery)

Sex addiction practice (acting out, massage parlors, prostitutes, prostitution, escorts, sugar daddies, sugar babies, happy endings, strip clubs)

Miscellaneous topics about which I write a lot (meditation, Buddha, jealousy, envy, anger, arrogance, musing, rejection, abandonment)

Miscellaneous phrases that certainly should lead to me, if there is a God (lick my clit, lick my cunt, lick my pussy, I want to suck your cock, fuck me, please fuck me, pretty please fuck me, may I suck your cock please, I’m begging – please may I suck your cock, I’m a good girl, I’ll be your good girl, I’m your good girl)

Questions whose answers I would be flattered to be either “My Dissolute Life” or “N. Likes”:

What is the best sex blog? (Who writes the best sex blog?)

What is the best male sex blog? (Who is the best male sex blogger?)

What is the most interesting sex blog? (Who is the most interesting sex blogger?)

What do you think? What led you here? What topics have I omitted? What searches?

wicked wednesday

And here are a couple of hot pictures, just because:

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  1. Okay, I googled ‘I want to lick your pussy’… and There You Were Second… after a Pornhub video ‘I want to lick your pussy and masturbate’… which being so weak of will, I immediately clicked on and watched the video and masturbated. Two women having sex on a beach… and no, I don’t see any connection with that video and your blog, except that you seem to have a one track mind here, sexwise. Keep up the good work, brother.

  2. Ahh Google, such a endless mystery but then that is the way they like it because if they made it too obvious or easy then no one would pay for ads etc. Not that we are allowed that even if we wanted to because ewwww adult content


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