Contact me

My email is: nlikes at mydissolutelife dot com [email protected]. E-mail is, by far, my preferred way to be contacted. If you want to chat with me by text or WhatsApp, drop me an e-mail and let me know your #, or click the little “contact me” widget that pops up from time to time when you’re on the blog….

I’m on FetLife – NLikes.

This is almost inactive. I never do anything on FetLife. I’ve never figured it out. If you want to teach me how to make it work for me, you’ll be my hero/ine.

I’ve lately been getting better at FetLife. You can reach out to me there.

This is almost inactive. I never do anything on FetLife. I’ve never figured it out. If you want to teach me how to make it work for me, you’ll be my hero/ine.

I’m on Tumblr – NLikes. This is where I idly drop pictures with one hand while the other strokes my cock. Or where I did do that until Tumblr began its self-immolation. Nowadays, my Tumblr is pretty much inactive.

And of course, the old standbys, Twitter, Kik and Snap. And TikTok. Where I’m @nlikes. But: Kik and SnapChat both are filled with pornbots and the like friending me. So there’s a good chance initial outreach to me there will be missed, or misunderstood. Best to give me a heads-up some other way to expect you there.

And, eventually, I’m happy to chat by text/WhatsApp. But that, after we establish a little trust….

Say hi!

This page, in form and execution, is inspired by (stolen from) the lovely Girl on the Net, whose blog I simply love.

But, like her, I love to hear from my readers. More than anything, I like to hear feedback – what do I do that you like, that you don’t like. What brings you back here? What drives you away? What did I forget to say? Etc.

  1. Writing assignments: I’m always game for a good writing assignment. I don’t really do erotic fiction, so don’t ask for that. But it’s not hard to get me spinning a fantasy around someone I get to know just a little….
  2. Send pictures. She loves to get cock shots from her readers. (Her e-mail is sendmeacockpic at gmail.) Me? Not so much. Not cock shots, or beaver shots. But sexy, seductive, artful, erotic shots? Clothed or nude? You betcha. I want ’em. Especially if they’re just for me, not part of the portfolio you tweet to the world.
  3. Send audio. You’ve seen (heard) my orgasms page – a page filled with orgasms from lovely readers of this blog. If you want to cum for me, I’d love to post your orgasm here. (Or not, if you’d prefer not – just share it with me and tell me if I have your permission. I wouldn’t dream of posting it without your ok.)

I (almost) always reply. I suppose it’s conceivable that one day I’ll have to modify that statement. But for now, it’s true.

So write!


  1. I just came across your site. I’m not really sure how or why, but no doubt it was part of my endless internet journey looking for my next high. My story certainly is within your same genre. I take solace in the fact someone else shares my misery, yet I think you’ve probably rationalized your addictions much like I have and am now.

    My story started with erotica on the internet, then a massage, then bdsm, then escorts, then TS girls, then couples. The nausea of not filling my addiction was equally met by the nausea following my fix. I shudder to the think of the health and financial risks I’ve taken. I’ll read your site and then move on….I think you know that.

    1. I’ve often said that those who are “sex addicts,” or in recovery, or devotees of 12-step programs might question my “recovery.”

      I’m not interested in defending myself. All I’ll say is this: some years ago, I was powerless over compulsive sex, and my life had become unmanageable.

      Today, neither is the case.

      I wish you good luck with your challenges.

  2. First off, have to say I am a religious reader of you blog. I check it every day. Your writing is smart and topics boundary shaping. It’s a winning combination. Please, even though the writing is just for you, don’t ever stop. It’s thrilling to too many people like me.

    Second, I’d like to solicit some advice. I, like you, am a middle aged, NYC suburban husband and father, with a yearning for something beyond the conventional sex life. I don’t think I’d be comfortable watching another guy have sex with my wife, or watch her fellate him (although the images are ones I often conjure during sex, with great arousal), I love the idea of public sex, and my wife, though not as enthusiastic, obliges. We’ve been to a NYC sex club, and went at it publicly (name escapes me but it wasn’t Le Trapeze, it was the other established one on the east side of midtown). It was a go experience for me, but my wife didn’t get much out of it.

    Do you have any other suggestions for public sex venues in NYC?

    Third, my wife’s fantasy is to be double penetrated, by me and one of our best friends in the rear (pussy is mine). Can you think of a way of approaching someone on this type of idea, without completely freaking them out? I trust him, as does she, and we would be both very into doing is with him, but if he has no interest, I’d like him to forget we even asked and move on as we always were, with no weirdness.

    1. First off, thanks! I love religious readers of my blog, and I really appreciate your kind words.

      Second, I’m not suburban. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Third, I’m not comfortable watching another guy have sex with my wife, or watching her fellate him. But that doesn’t stop me. (I”m also not comfortable when the temperature is below 40 or above 80, but hey, what can I do?)

      Fourth, I suspect the club you went to was Checkmate. I’ve never been there, but I knew (and fucked) a REALLY hot woman whom they used to employ as a “greeter.”

      Fifth, I’ve written a fair amount about “sex clubs,” and I’d suggest you read those posts for my suggestions. I link pretty extensively. I think the earlier posts are probably more helpful, though maybe slightly out of date by now.

      Sixth, how to approach a friend without freaking him out? I don’t have a sure-fire answer, but I’ll tell you how I would be inclined to do it: SLOWLY. I might, first, disclose to my friend that I have fantasies about my wife with other men, and gauge how he responds. If it’s not a bad response, I might throw in that my wife had had that fantasy too. And if THAT went over well, I might ask him if he’d ever had such thoughts. And I’d do that over a period of days or weeks. And THEN? If the last question went over well? I’d tell him he’d won the fucking lottery. That way, though, your risk is always capped at disclosing one too many things, none of which is all THAT embarrassing to someone who was with you until the last hurdle….

      Good luck, and keep me posted!

      1. Great thoughts and I appreciate your response. Involving a friend is a tough one, but she and I talk about it constantly. My wife is pretty conventional, but once Id broached the subject, she opened up like a floodgate. She wants me and someone she knows and trusts, to take her at the same time. She wants someone she knows for many reasons, not the least of which she wants a double creampie. Just writing that gets me hard. We’ve role played during sex using a dildo in her ass, and its the best sex we’ve ever had.
        I have read everything you’ve written about sex clubs, and its awesome stuff. I am just wondering if their is an equally stimulating venue for public sex. It was Checkmate, and I really like it, but my wife didn’t get much out of it. Ai think the openness of it took the risk out of her. I loved 3/4 couples watching us go through some hot sweaty sex, but she didn’t get the thrill I did.

        1. Do you have an experience bring a close friend into a threesome with your wife? I think that is probably on the minds of so many of your readers

          1. Really? None has ever asked before….

            In any event, I’m not sure I’m game for answering that question right now. Perhaps I’ll tackle it some day.

          2. Understood if its not a place you want to go, but is am using you for your mind ๐Ÿ™‚ You tackle complex questions that involve sex, emotions, relationships…the volatile cocktail that make life interesting. If you’d do decide to tackle this one, I will be, as always, an interested reader.
            Second point, which I am sure you are aware of, a small percentage of your readership actually posts. It too me a very long time to do so. Don’t assume that because you haven’t been asked that its not a burning questions for some, or many. You are in a state of sexual evolution that many of us can only dream of, and will probably never achieve. But the step I describe above IS a very realistic bridge to sexual fulfillment for myself and many others I suspect. A child of the 80s, the educational system/AIDS crisis scarred us permanently from enjoying multiple sexual partners during our peak years, and we are just now seeking to make up for lost time. For me, sex with my wife and a friend is the PERFECT solution to “a rut”.

          3. Just a couple of quick reactions:

            1) As I wrote the other day, I don’t think of “ruts” as bad things.

            2) For YOU, sex with your wife and a friend may sound appealing. But how about your wife? And your friend? In general, such threesomes are pretty damned complicated. And fun, sure, if they work out….

  3. I find you soulless and pretty disgusting. With all of this solipsism and processing it doesn’t seem to ever occur to you to see a woman as something other than a visual, a meat puppet or some type of ego flattery.
    It’s sad, it’s boring, it’s run of the mill misogyny, it is anything but insightful, intriguing and revealing about human nature. Y not try humanizing yourself? Y not try stop the pathetic self obsession? Someday you will see that you have been doing nothing more than masturbating with others as props. Men- is there no more to life for you?

    1. Thanks, Suzy, for this. It gives me an interesting perspective to consider. I don’t think you’re right about the totality of how I see women, although certainly you are right about one or two ways I see women, and those are how, often, I present them here. But to be fair, I think it’s also how I present men. In other words, this is an unapologetic journal of a sex-obsessed narcissist, NOT a misogynist. And as for the other things you say this blog is not, I have some confidence others disagree. You’re entitled to your opinion, and I welcome it. Your ending, though, confuses me. Is this directed at all men? Or just me?

  4. It’s been almost 30 years since I lost my virginity and begun my sexual exploration. My active fantasy life began much earlier in late childhood and early adolescence, but I didn’t gain the courage (or age) to begin to explore my desires until 17. I had a sort of wild and promiscuous set of experiences in college ranging from the traditional boy & girl, to 2 girls with shared boy (separately and together), FWBs, boy toys, to me and two boys and me and one girl. None of these adequately satisfied the itch. Something was missing, but I had no idea what. Eventually I entered into what would be a virtually sexless marriage in which I almost disappeared and would have imploded except for an increasing toy collection and a large number of batteries. I never strayed, except in my mind. After divorce, I began my quest for a healthy, monogamous relationship for which I am still looking. Along the way, I’ve remembered and rejuvenated long lost desires and fantasies that I’m craving to play out. My 46 year old libido is growing exponentially and my appetite for sex growing insatiable. I’ve yet to meet a man with the stamina to satisfy me completely. I’m a multi-orgasmic, squirter with strong submissive desires to please a man and a yearning to be tied up, rendered helpless and used sexually by a kind, but tough dominant who seeks to tease and please me for his own entertainment. How do I find this? (I had always hoped that I’d find this within the trusted safety of a committed relationship – but this proves to be illusive at this point – so I’m willing to go out my previously ascribed comfort zone to find the excitement and fulfillment I crave). You seem to be the sex expert – help me. Guide me.

  5. N: Tom here again. I have been faithfully reading for quite a while. A criticism: The object of a majority of your posts for the better part of a year has been to dare women into meeting some particular desire of yours…a virtual casting call for curious and willing subs. You blob has lost some intelligence and become more of a voyueristic pick up spot. This might be your ultimate goal- to use this sight to stock your stalls- but that would be a change. One I could hardly argue with if it works.
    Ps- I am waiting for this site to blow up with traffic once discovered by the 50 Shades crowd. Buy some extra capacity/

    1. I appreciate your comments, Tom, honestly, and it’s true that, as the blog has matured – and my life has continued apace – I have found other places for much of my writing, and so some of the writing you used to enjoy seeing here isn’t here so much – which leaves me more space to fill with my fantasies. I’m sorry that isn’t as compelling to you. Here’s hoping I find ways to spice it up in coming days.

  6. Wow….honesty. It’s refreshing. If there is a better place to read you, please do share. And I am sorry the Tinder police continue to harass you.
    I was worried that a new job might have stolen your time (and perhaps proclivity to maintain such a forum).
    Although this blog is by you and largely about you- you and I are basically members of the same cohort (40’s, married, seen tough times- personally and professionally, urban, professional, educated), I thought I would offer some topics:
    – hipsters sexual freedom and how much we envy it being innate whereas we of the AIDs generation got a raw deal
    – hardening to change as we get older- even change that would be good
    – facials- I love them
    – assholes- i love to play with and be played with
    – peeking up skirts as we exit the subway- little has greater anticipation for me each day- talk about a creapshot- but we all do it- just that peak of underwear tells you so much about how the woman sees herself. That you can even see it says something
    – asses- how more is better now- when we were teens, a stick jammed into Jordache jeans was the ulimate- now not so much
    – exploring everything a marriage has and learning 1- there is a limit to what it can provide 2- it is a nonrenewable resource. Some aspects once spent are gone.

    Just some things mulling in my head that could be of interest…

  7. I stumbled across your writing while searching for clubs that entertain curious couples. I thoroughly enjoyed your articles on nyc swing clubs although I’m not sure how to find what I’m looking for. I will continue to check bag on your writings

  8. I’ve been catching up on your blog with a great deal of interest. Since I’m also in the New York city area, some of your local tips have been quite helpful.

    Recently, my girlfriend has expressed an interest in going to a strip club with me. We are both in our early 50’s.

    She’s never been to one before and the one caveat she gave was it wasn’t a skeevy/unpleasant experience/venue.

    Do you have any venues in the New York city area that you would recommend going with accompanied by a date? Any particular day and/or time that is preferable? I’m assuming it would be better to go when it’s crowded, but maybe you have a different perspective. Since it’s her first time going, I’d like that she not be uncomfortable.

  9. A friend of mine turned me on to your site. I never had the courage to post anything but have been more and more curious. I canโ€™t believe all of the woman you are able to talk too. I never expected someone like me to reach out to a man like you. Ugh.

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