Abandonment Archives - My Dissolute Life

Replaying the Story of Being Left Despite Doing My Best

March 4, 2026 N. Likes Musing

I keep telling myself a story, using various women, in which I do everything right but am still left, feeling somehow at fault and unable to prevent or repair the loss.

Ghosts

September 19, 2025 N. Likes Musing

I hate being ghosted. It shakes my sense of connection, judgment, and even cosmology.

Cunt dreams

June 17, 2025 N. Likes Musing

Just what is it I’m scared of? Same old same old…. Shame. Abandonment. Loss.

Ghosting

March 23, 2025 N. Likes Post

Dear Milica, I don’t know what to say. When last we spoke, you made promises to me that not only[…]

How can I make it up to you? (Reflective version)

March 22, 2025 N. Likes Musing

A slightly more reflective reflection on how Serena can make it up to me

How can I make it up to you?

March 21, 2025 N. Likes Musing

My feelings were hurt

Serena’s fade-out

October 10, 2024 N. Likes Memory or fantasy?

My affair with Serena is flickering out, and the pain has been overwhelming. I’ve kept my thoughts hidden, too raw and vulnerable. Now, I’m torn between rage and terror, emotions that clash with my rational understanding.

An abstract swirly image with three hazy figures

Fear and uncertainty in dating

August 24, 2024 N. Likes Musing

I find that if I mine my interactions with, and feelings about, various women in my life, I can learn a lot of interesting stuff. Mostly around my fear and uncertainty in dating.