Recent
The internet has changed and so has this blog
Read moreI’m reflecting on the dramatic decline in real human traffic to my blog, the rise of AI-mediated reading, and the loss of the narcissistic gratification I used to get from engaged readership. I’m not sure yet whether this is a bad thing, but it’s a real change and I’m uncertain how or whether to adapt.
Dating tina: chemistry, submission, and running away
Read moreI’ve dated several beautiful, intelligent women recently but can’t muster a physical response. With Tina, whose voice is catnip, the problem is she’s not submissive — when I asked her to wear something green and she deflected, every alarm bell went off, and now, shamefully, I want to run.
Dear democrats: stop the text message harassment
Read moreI’ve been a lifelong Democratic voter and donor, but I’ve stopped giving because of relentless unsolicited text messages I can’t opt out of. If the party can’t solve this simple problem, why should anyone trust them with bigger ones?
Isabella: desire, loss, and overlapping worlds
Read moreI’m writing about Isabella, one of two women who taught me the most about my sexuality. She showed me my cock could be an object of desire, while the Secretary taught me my desire itself could be desired. I miss them both — not just for sex, but for the intimacy we shared.
Maintenance: of everything
Read moreI just read this book (my second complete book in two days – it’s vacation!) – and damn. I feel like, now, I have a reading list for the next ten years! And, it fucking blew my mind.
Shame: reflections on self-acceptance over time
Read moreI’m reflecting on how shame has shaped my life and my blog since 2010 — from the radical openness I once had in writing about my most uncomfortable impulses, to the self-judgment and contempt that have crept back in now that I’m less anonymous and less self-accepting.
Bike lane beauty
Read moreI’ve traded my subway commute for an e-bike over the past two years, gaining a new intimacy with the city’s geography and weather, but losing the daily river of humanity that once inspired my peons. This morning gave me my first fleeting glimpse of that old muse — a stunning brunette on a bike, gone in a flash.
My 40th high school reunion
Read moreI biked home from my 40th high school reunion feeling the same alienation I felt in high school — most of my actual friends weren’t there, and the crowd felt like a different world. I had a few genuinely connected conversations and skipped the after-party, choosing to bike in the night air, and my wife, and scotch, instead.
