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My 40th high school reunion
Read moreI biked home from my 40th high school reunion feeling the same alienation I felt in high school — most of my actual friends weren’t there, and the crowd felt like a different world. I had a few genuinely connected conversations and skipped the after-party, choosing to bike in the night air, and my wife, and scotch, instead.
Epiphanies
Read moreI had an epiphany about the shame I feel when relationships with women end — a deep sense that I am bad, unworthy, and that the loss is proof of it. It connected my pattern of abandonment to my mother, and felt like genuine news even though I’ve written about it many times before.
A tour of forbidden fantasies: yesenia’s elegance
Read moreYesenia has effortless elegance, always-impeccable style. I wonder what she wears beneath. Everyone should only wear things that make them [feel] hot.
Death surrounds me
Read moreDeath has been a constant presence throughout my life — from losing grandparents as a young child to my mother at nineteen. My own 21-year-old child, though, has been largely sheltered from it, and losses are now drawing closer.
Depression part 2: symptoms beyond sadness
Read moreWhat being sad, being a little depressed, looks like in me.
Depression
Read moreI’m depressed. Not TERRIBLY depressed. But depressed.
The ridiculousness of ai
Read moreReviewing French Fries, or, the ridiculous power of AI. Or, I’m totally obsessional.
A meditation on aging and mortality
Read moreMeeting women has changed dramatically over the last 15 years — from mass-swiping Tinder to the blog attracting partners organically — and now all avenues have dried up.