October 2015

Strip clubs could be so much better. Don’t you think?

A pseudoscientific taxonomy of ponytails and what they tell me about your sexual proclivities.

I’m a lucky guy. For the most part, I have what I want, and I want what I have.

What I imagine I can learn about a woman from watching her turn a page.

A brief, uncharacteristic rant about entitlement, laziness, and porcelain.

I used to experience beautiful women as a rebuke. Now I experience them as a reminder.

Ella edges for me, on command. Listen.

Sofia and I finally had a “date” — fifteen minutes, a coffee shop, a man in a suit behind me, and three orgasms (hers).

Sofia and I have plans. They don’t involve being in the same room, but they’re plans nonetheless.

The difference between a leer and a hungry look is everything.