Shame

Every time a woman sends me a photo, my heart leaps – and I stop believing there’s something wrong with me.

I’m here for me, not for you — and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Expect more typos.

Tina has a voice like catnip and everything else going for her – but I asked her to wear something green, and she said she was busy.

I used to put everything here, no flinching. Now there’s a list of things I won’t confess, and I can feel why.

I’ve written a hundred times about being abandoned. Turns out I missed the part where I’m ashamed.

Remembering my suffering.

Just what is it I’m scared of? Same old same old…. Shame. Abandonment. Loss.

Why is it so shameful to be caught masturbating?

More than anything, sex parties make me THINK. The day after a sex party, I’m filled with thoughts, imaginings, and reflections.

I’m just always happier when I’m myself.