Ad – and response

Exploratory, attractive, open-minded, mid-twenties woman seeking a man to instruct her. Must be experienced, confident in his abilities, who knows what he wants. Preferably looking for someone who would be interested in getting to know one another during the times we aren’t intimately engaging. Bonus points for honesty, intelligence, and interest/knowledge of sexuality.

Uninterested in a formal relationship, merely interested in broadening my horizons and pushing my limitations.

A personal ad

I was very taken with your ad.

I’m in my early 50s, experienced, confident (but most assuredly not cocky). My abilities are legion – I write well, I think creatively, and I know my way around a woman’s body in a way that I’ve often been told is… unusual. And, perhaps most important, I know what I want.

I want to get to know you. And, I want to get to know you by asking you do to things and by learning, together, how we both feel as you contemplate – and execute – my requests.

I am honest. I am intelligent. And I have an extensive interest in and knowledge of sexuality. On all this, you should be the judge though: check out my blog, and see what you think. Your response to that will be the single-greatest predictor of whether you want to wrap your lips around my cock, of whether I want to feed my cock to you.

If this appeals to you, then please, introduce me to you, and to your compliance, visually: send me a photo. The photo should show me your whole body, but not your face. You should be clothed enough that I don’t see anything I wouldn’t see on a non-nude beach (and it’s fine if I don’t see anything I wouldn’t see in a fancy restaurant). My one requirement for this photo is that it should give me a glimpse both of your thighs (clothed is fine) and the flesh of your breasts.

If this doesn’t appeal to you, no need to respond – I wish you well.


Thankfully, she did respond.


  1. I am so very curious (and may, in fact, have asked you this before): How do you deliver rejection from this starting point?

    By that I mean, let’s say this woman does what you ask and you know immediately that you are not attracted to her from her photos.

    What do you do/say?

    I wonder this also about your general invitations for women to contact you. I imagine this must happen a lot, not least because your ‘type’ for all of this is quite narrow. I can’t imagine how you handle it with grace and kindness because the way it’s framed, the reason for the rejection is obviously ‘you’re not hot to me’ and man, that’s a rough message to deliver. This vs ‘we aren’t compatible’ which is how it works when the starting point is your everyday ‘getting to know each other’ stuff.


    1. It’s good to hear from you. It’s been so long since I got one of these vaguely challenging, ever-so-slightly hostile comments from you. I hope you’re weathering this crazy time well.

      The honest answer to your question is, I’ve never encountered the circumstance you imagine. You write that you “imagine this must happen a lot,” and that my “‘type’ for all of this is quite narrow.” But, honestly, both halves of that imagining are wrong: 1) this never happens, and 2) my type isn’t, actually, narrow. My “type,” such as it is – and you’ll know this if you’ve read about my “type” – is not a constraint, but rather, a description of a particular fantasy.

      Most of the women I’ve been with over the years haven’t been my “type.” V wasn’t my “type.” Nor Isabel. Nor Tamora. Nor the Rockette. Nor Rose. Nor Lexy. It’s, in fact, very unusual that I’m with someone who fits “my type.” So. I’m not quite sure what to say except, my type isn’t a constraint, but rather, a description of a particular tropism I have. It’s not exclusive; it’s inclusive.

      And as far as its happening all the time – I don’t really know what to say here, either, except… it doesn’t. I just don’t often find myself having to push away women whose interest isn’t reciprocated. Maybe this is because I’m a sapiosexual. Maybe it’s because my blog is fully self-selecting/effectively repellent of those whom I might otherwise have to repel. But it just isn’t a thing that happens. Sorry. :-/

      And, I really do hope all is well with you.


  2. Ha! It was not intended to be (ever-so-slightly) hostile. I guess this is my writing style: Just ‘how the fuck do you deal?’. It’s genuine curiosity.

    Thank you for your response. I’m surprised it doesn’t happen and a little disappointed (not for you or them, it’s great for all parties, but for the fact that I did for-real want to know if you found a way to handle it gracefully).

    I guess this may be a difference of ‘man on the internet’ experiences vs ‘woman on the internet’.

    And yes, I’m going well, thanks :).


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