Communicating with me

Here’s a thing I’ve learned about myself over the years: as much as I enjoy finding a beautiful, compliant woman who gets off on dressing as I ask, giving me precisely what I ask…. And I do enjoy that very, very much.

It seems I also like just hunting for such women. I like the back-and-forth that begins with knowing nothing, or next to nothing, and that progresses toward something like anticipation, and, ultimately, toward meeting. And, I like the funnel – the thousand right swipes on Tinder leading to the ten matches to the one conversation. And then, from ten conversations, to the one date…. I like that all. (I might wish it were more efficient. But I might not.)

And along the way, I use various apps.

The way I manage my phone, and my life, some apps live on my “main profile,” apps on which I see messages when they arrive. There are other apps that live exclusively in my “N” profile. Messages that arrive in those apps, I only see when I affirmatively switch over to that profile on my phone. I set up this bifurcated system two or three years ago, mostly to counter my compulsivity, to impose a forced delay between the arrival of a message directed toward the “N” part of me, and my engagement with it. I also did it to facilitate my use of Tinder, which demanded that I use a Facebook profile other than my Facebook profile. You know, the Facebook profile associated with my alter ego.

At the time, my alter ego used Facebook. Today, my alter ego is pretty much over Facebook. But I haven’t changed the configuration of my phone.

The way things stand now, this is where my apps live:

On my regular profile (the one with all of my alter ego’s apps, as well):

E-mail (In my guise as N, I use Gmail to manage my e-mail, using both my blog e-mail account – nlikes at mydissolutelife dot com and a Gmail account that I’ll tell you if you ask, nicely. Gmail – and Google Inbox – allow multiple accounts within the app, so I can manage my N accounts and my alter-ego accounts all from within the same app, on the same profile)

Texts (Google Voice lets me receive texts at a number other than my alter ego’s number)

Snapchat (on my main profile because my alter ego doesn’t use SnapChat, so I don’t need to sequester it)

Kik (see Snapchat for why it’s on my main profile)

Twitter (my alter ego uses Twitter too, but Twitter itself allows multiple profiles/accounts) 


On my “N” profile:

Tinder (because, as described above, Tinder requires a Facebook profile of its own, and because its very presence raises questions*)

OKCupid (because its very presence raises questions)

Happ’n (ditto) A note about Happ’n: I’ve been on Happ’n for four or five years. The first woman I matched with on Happ’n sucked my cock. And left, mid-cock-sucking. I never wrote about her. Though I did write about the possibility of writing about her. I’ve met precisely one other woman I matched with on Happ’n, and it was a total bust.

Instagram (N’s alter ego uses Instagram, and while Instagram might permit multiple accounts, I haven’t figured that out)

WhatsApp (I have, and use, WhatsApp on my “main” profile, but that’s associated with my main phone number, associated with my alter ego, and my real-life friends)

Tumblr (N’s alter ego uses Tumblr, and while it might be possible to do the multiple account thing on Tumblr, I do my porn surfing on my alter ego profile, and my alter ego Tumblr is really for family only, so the risk of fucking up is especially high – only the people I care most about see what I post on my alter ego Tumblr)

The main way I meet people is via Tinder. Occasionally, someone contacts me via the comments on my blog, or via e-mail, or via Tumblr. But I’ve met 75% or more of the women who’ve sucked my cock in the last five years on Tinder.

Mostly, we coordinate our dates via Tinder.

Sometimes, though – if our conversations stretch on, we find another conversational home.

In my next post, I’ll tell you what I’ve learned about the apps people use to communicate with me. In this post, I’m ending here, two scotches in, and just a bit light-headed. Enjoy. I did.


* I’m very cautious. My son doesn’t generally have access to my phone. But he occasionally does. If he were to very long, I suppose there’s all sorts of shit he could easily discover, but in general, my principle has been that there shouldn’t be apps the very presence of which raises questions.

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