I love “new relationship energy,” or NRE. The thrilling discovery of a new person, uncovering who they are – little in life compares. There’s lots to be written about (and lots that has been written about) the ways in which NRE plays to our immaturity, to our hunger to project – about how, inevitably, the person you don’t know is so much more exciting than the one you do know. And/but, that getting-to-know-you phase of a relationship tends to feature a paradoxical simultaneous discovery and confirmation of all the ways a new partner is perfect – even as it also gradually reveals all the ways the new partner is anything but perfect, is, in fact, disappointing.
Anyway – I love me some NRE, and I love little more in life than surfing the energy of a wave of NRE.
Persephone is far away. She’s not going to be a “real” relationship. Her boundaries – and her situation – are such that I’m pretty sure “stretching partner” with a flirty twist is what’s available. No matter. I’m fucking digging it. She’s just delightfully easy on the eyes, and on top of that, is interesting, smart, curious, mysterious, open, and much more.
This post, though, isn’t about Persephone. Instead, it’s about questions – about the questions I like to ask as I get to know someone. I’ve documented this process before, I’m sure, somewhere on this blog. But the process – even as it features similarities that stretch across time and women, also changes constantly across time, and across women. So some of these questions, I’m sure, I’ve written here before; others, I’m sure, not.
Here’s a bit of our exchange over the last few days – questions, answers, and dialogue:
“Do you have a reaction to the phrase ‘good girl’?”
Nope. I’ve been called it before and have played into it in the past. I used to really crave hearing it when I was younger. Now? Not so much.
“Interesting. I always find it an interesting thing. It does nothing for me. Except if/when it does something for someone else. And THEN?!? It’s powerful for me. Wherever you and I go, please never ‘play into’ anything. It’ll work for a short while. Then it’ll send me running. Tell me something I’ve said turns you off or grosses you out? That will pull me closer. Fake it? It won’t last long.”
Ah I find your response to my answer to be even more interesting. No problem. I’m happy to be (slowly) transparent with you.
“Even more interesting how??? I will consume your transparency voraciously. And (im)patiently.”
I followed with a lot of questions:
- LBD or jeans?
- Rock? Classical? Hip hop? Or jazz? You only get 1
- Commando? Boyshorts? Bikini? Thong? Pick one.
- Bad boy or nice guy?
- Vibration or penetration.
If you know me, you know my responses. Persephone doesn’t know me. She’s learning. For me, the LBD vs. jeans question depends very much on context. I’m 100 percent certain that, with Persephone, the answer is jeans. If I only get to pick one, it’s rock, and boyshorts. I’m a nice guy who plays at being a bad boy. I want a good girl, even if I don’t, as I’ve said, especially care about the phrase. And I’m most definitely a vibration kinda fella.
- Wine, beer, or brown liquor? Or other? [SCOTCH!]
- Rodents or amphibians? [Rodents, please.]
- One or many? [MANY]
- Ocean or mountains? [Mountains.]
- Hard or soft? [Soft]
As I waited for Persephone’s responses, I wrote, “I could do this FOREVER,” and it’s true. Just writing these questions to her made my cock hard. Just re-writing them here, now, makes my cock hard.
“I can’t articulate it,” Persephone wrote, in response, I guess, to my “interesting how?” question. “Your answer just gives me pause.” I think I failed to parse this “pause” – did I put her off? Upset her? Intrigue her? I’m not sure how to read what she wrote, and I didn’t (at the time) seek clarification.
Then came her answers. Jeans. Classical. Commando. Bad boy. Vibration if alone; penetration with a partner. I liked her first three answers. Her last two made me sad: I’m not the guy for her. :-/
The second set of answers followed: None, I prefer not to drink. (Sexy.) Rodents. (Check.) One. (Can’t win ’em all.) Ocean – but forest is more preferred. (For me, forest = mountains.) Soft. (Check.)
So we aren’t a perfect match. And the “one” has me one-dering…. Is she talking about monogamy? Orgasms? Both? Something else? I’m not sure what I had in mind when I asked…..
“I like your questions,” she added.
Phew – the pause, perhaps had passed?
“I like you,” I replied.
“Three little words,” she wrote, “that feel like they open an expansive door.”
More questions followed. Of course. These, from her (at my request):
Season you feel most alive in? Still or sparkling? Last piece of art you consumed? Quote you could live by? What is the color of lust?
My answers: Spring, with autumn close behind. Sparkling. Guiltily. I carbonate multiple liters a day. In real time: I’m reading The Algebraist by Iain Banks. Not really enjoying it. “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.” Green.
And I followed with six more of my own questions:
Yesterday or tomorrow? Morning or night? Give or receive? Cotton or wool? Lingerie or nude? Even or odd?
I LOVE THIS SHIT. So fun!
I won’t tell you all her answers, or all mine. But you get the idea!
I have so many more to ask….