As my flirtation with Ashley was unfolding (you’ll read about it soon enough), I reread the post referenced in the title to this post. I feel like, in some ways, I nailed it, and, in others? I just missed the point.
Here’s the “value proposition,” if you will, that I offer to the prospective successful applicant:
- I fucking love eating pussy. That’s generically true. It will, specifically, be true of you, of your pussy.
- I do not conceive of sex, or oral sex, as a trade. In my exchange with Ashley, as I was expressing my enthusiasm for devouring her, for collecting her pleasure, she said, “What about you?” By which, I think, she meant, “You’ve laid out a timetable that includes you eating me out, but it doesn’t include you having an orgasm. Are you going to come?” To my mind, sexual encounters aren’t about orgasms. They’re not about your orgasms; they’re not about mine. Sexual encounters are about pleasure. And the act of devouring your cunt is, for me, supremely pleasurable. If you come? Great. If not? I don’t give a fuck. I’ll be having fun.
- This is not, of course, to say that I won’t fuck your face, or your cunt, with my cock; that you won’t feel my cum in the back of your throat. I will. You will. Maybe even on the same day. Maybe not.
- A sexual encounter isn’t incomplete because it’s asymmetrical. Many of the hottest sexual encounters I’ve ever had have been asymmetrical. [Far too many women are far too familiar with one direction in which this asymmetry flows: they give blowjobs to ungrateful men who never reciprocate.] Asymmetry – not hot in a relationship – can be incredibly hot in an encounter.
- I. Am. Good. I am intuitive. I am hungry. I have more fingers, more hands, more tongues, lips, mouths, than the average man. On several occasions, women have asked me versions of the question, “How many hands do you have?!?” Or “What are you doing down there?” I have had the good fortune to be present for more than a few first orgasms of women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. Never mind younger women.
- If you are a/the successful applicant for this position, we both will be so fucking psyched. That. Is. A. Promise.