Charlotte generously gave me control of her orgasms. This is entirely new to her. She’s also been… struggling a bit… with some of my various instructions and requests. So I’ve been using the opportunity control of her orgasms presents to do a little training.
Just over a year ago, when I was struggling with Marina, the idea of “training” was far from my mind. I was stuck in a terrified, victim-y place, experiencing every “failure,” every departure, as an abandonment, and consumed with terror. I whined and moaned, telling her, “DON’T DO THAT!” It didn’t work, of course. Marina was incredibly generous, incredibly devoted to me. Except when she wasn’t. And there was no transforming that with whining and moaning. I would’ve done much better to assess where things were, and shape my responses to the situation, rather than to lament the distance between where things were and where I wanted them to be.
With Charlotte, things are much different. For one, as intense as things have been between us, they’re nowhere near as… manic… as they were with Marina. We’re really just having fun. The emotional weight of our relationship seems exactly right: we like each other a lot, enjoy interacting both sexually and otherwise, are enjoying getting to know one another, and… that’s it. It feels pretty perfect.
And where Marina’s “failures” to deliver devastated me, Charlotte’s I take as opportunities to educate her, to train her. Charlotte genuinely does want to please me, and there’s little hotter than that, as far as I’m concerned.
I’ve lost count of the number of times, the number of minutes, I’ve had Charlotte on the edge of orgasm since her last orgasm several days ago, but suffice it to say, her cunt is aching, throbbing. At this point, all that stands between her and satisfaction is completing a draft of a page that will hold all the incredibly hot audio she has sent, and will send, me. I asked her “are you scared of the task?” Her reply: “No. I have no idea why I’m avoiding it.”
“I like having you on the edge,” I wrote. “And apparently, you like being there.”
Charlotte agreed emphatically: “Apparently I do!”
So where things stand, now, is that, when Charlotte delivers an acceptable draft orgasm/edging audio page to me, I will set her on the path to orgasm. Previously, I had asked that she set aside thirty minutes for me, and, in that time, that she spend fifteen minutes edging for me, and then, fifteen minutes coming. As this little orgasm denial project has continued, I offered, prospectively, the lure of reversing the order – of her coming for fifteen minutes for me, and then, edging for fifteen minutes for me within 24 hours.
But as I see how much we each enjoy this torture, I’m inclined to revisit my initial thinking: I do want the fifteen minutes of edging before she comes, again. And, I do want the fifteen minutes of coming. Except. I think that Charlotte now has a deadline. When I first asked for the thirty-minute edging/coming project, she told me she could deliver it in, I believe it was five days. The deadline she set for herself approaches. Now that I’ve bundled that task in with this orgasm denial project (I didn’t, originally, conceive of it as the “punch line”), I see that I’ve created a little bit of a conundrum for us:
- She can’t give me the thirty-minute project without my permission to come, which hinges, at this point, on both continued excellent performance (and Charlotte has been performing excellently) AND the draft web page.
- That means that it’s very possible she will blow through the deadline she initially set for herself not because she doesn’t get around to meeting it, but because she doesn’t have my permission to meet it.
So I suppose I now share at least a bit of the responsibility for her prospectively failing to meet her self-imposed deadline. But only a bit. Because, obvs, she could just turn around the web page in twenty minutes, if she really wanted to come. But, as she said, “apparently” Charlotte is enjoying the torture.
So I suppose it’s time to ramp it up a bit.
I need the draft web page. I need it soon. Because if I don’t get it soon, we’ll blow through that deadline. And… since we both are enjoying the edging so much, I think I need to modify, slightly, my instructions, which have been moving around a bit as it is. (From 15 edging/15 coming to 15 coming/15 edging and then, with this post, back again.)
But as I write, I see that what I really want – and, what I think Charlotte really needs, is a combination of clarity, achievability, predictability/transparency, and… HOTness.
- Charlotte will get me the draft web page no later than 9 pm tonight.
- Charlotte has promised me ten minutes of her time today, separate and apart from that. In those ten minutes, she will: a) spend five minutes alternating ten seconds on/ten seconds off her clit with her vibrator; b) spend one minute talking to me, describing the experience of being tortured in this way, as she idly, gently, strokes and presses and otherwise plays with her clit; c) spend 60 seconds (if she can last) with the vibrator on her clit steadily, but not coming; d) spend two more minutes alternating on/off, but this time, with only 5-second rest period permitted; e) send me as many pictures of her pretty face as she can manage in the remaining minute or so*; and f) tell me when I may next use her as I might wish for, say, two minutes. All of that – one recording containing all of a through d, some photos, and an offering of two minutes at a specific time – will come in one e-mail. [Note: you can hear a, c, and d in my next post.]
- The 15/15 tease/come reward lying at the end of this project is now a 20/20 tease/come reward: it will feature not fifteen, but twenty minutes of edging, and not fifteen, but twenty minutes of coming.
- I will arbitrarily increase/modify all this to please us both more and more and more, the longer it drags out. So if, for example, Charlotte has not provided me with a draft web page by 9 pm tonight? Well, I’m not quite sure what I’ll do. But it. will. be. fun. And difficult, for Charlotte. But, “apparently,” she likes that. 😉
* I know that my ten-minute assignments may take as long as thirty minutes to complete. I’m trying to organize things so that’s less true. But I’m aware of it….