Getting in shape (or, “mania”)

Years ago, I was fat. Well, not fat, but I weighed 40-50 pounds more than I wanted to. I was unhappy, and I ate my feelings. Around the time I started this blog – just a little before – I began the project of losing weight. I’ve written about it here somewhere. The very short answer to how I lost 40 pounds was that I identified two hot women to work with me as my trainer. The relationships weren’t exactly sexual – but they were explicitly tied to sexual motivation. I would specify what my trainers would wear, and they would train me. One of those trainers is still (or, really, again – see below) my trainer, ten years, a husband, and a kid later. Our relationship is a friendship now, but she still trains me. And I still like looking at her ass in leggings or shorts.

I was fit for a number of years. And then, about five years ago, my fitness was interrupted by some pretty disruptive health problems. Those problems – and getting older, and some changes in my professional life – conspired to make my writing here diminish a bit. And, to make me gain weight, and lose fitness, and flexibility. And libido.

In recent days, I’ve decided (unconnected to New Year’s resolutions!) that I want to get fit again. To lose some weight. To regain strength. And – something I’ve never done before – to gain flexibility. But how? I fucking hate working out. And I hate stretching even more. Honestly. There is little in the world I like less than setting aside time to attend to my physical fitness in any way. I always would prefer to read, to write, to meditate, to sleep.

But you know what else I would prefer to do? Meet hot women. Look at hot women. Get to know hot women. Direct hot women.

So, just as I did a decade ago, I decided that I would recruit a trainer or two to help me out. My first step was to call V2 (as distinguished from V), my trainer from years ago. We had stopped working together after my health problems made it impossible for me to do anything at the gym for a solid 18 months. But we resumed. For now, once or twice a week. Maybe we’ll increase to three in the coming months, if I can make it work with my schedule.

And, I posted on the FOSTA-SESTA-diminished CraigsList. That worked just a little. I got a few nibbles of interest. But I wanted more than a few nibbles. I wanted a full on recruitment and selection process.

See – what I’m craving is several things wrapped up in one: I want a hot woman, who’s comfortable with sexual banter with me, who can put me through my paces in ways that deliver physical benefit for me, all while comfortably adjusting her position so I have a better position of her ass, her cunt, her thighs, her breasts, her eyes, while we’re at it. That’s a tall order, I know. AND, I want a parade of women interested in auditioning for the position.

Then I remembered something: Seeking Arrangement. A classified service devoted entirely to matching men with hot women who are thinking about sex explicitly as a way to make some money.

I don’t want to pay for sex. Long ago, I let my profile on Seeking Arrangement go fallow. When I did so, I adjusted it to be clear that I wasn’t offering to pay for anything, but that I have a blog, and if a woman likes the idea of a relationship with a guy like me, I’m open to that. I knew that not a few women on Seeking Arrangement are, after all, simply women who are turned on by the idea of sex with a man in his 40s, 50s, or 60s. That, actually, produced a just a little interest over the years. Enough that, every year, I would reactivate my membership for a month or so to collect the interest I’d received and see if anything came of it. Little did, but I confess: there’s something just about the premise of Seeking Arrangement (the web site) that is incredibly hot to me. I happily could just browse through the stacks of women offering the prospect of a sexual relationship without ever consummating one. I find people interesting. I find women interesting. And, I find women in an explicitly sexual context infinitely compelling.

And, the women on Seeking Arrangement are, generally, interested in the prospect of meeting men like me with objectification established as an organizing principle of any relationship.

So. I reactivated my membership. I altered my profile a bit. And I wrote to a few women. “Would you like to work out with me on Zoom?” I asked. “Dress as I ask. Move around as I ask. Show me the parts of your body I want to see. All while helping me stretch.”

And I unleashed my mania. See, this doesn’t offend my sensibility as it relates to paying for sex: I’m paying for a legitimate service – physical fitness training – of real value to my life, in its entirety. And, I’m getting the titillation of first dates, and of visual and sexual stimulation. Yahtzee!

I’m not a sociopath. I’m not just collecting first dates. I am, genuinely, looking for one to three women with whom I can do this in an ongoing way – women with whom I can set up recurring sessions, and pursue both my arousal and my fitness.

It’s all good. I’ll keep you posted.

And… if you’re interested in auditioning for the position – by all means – contact me!

[And the woman below – Francesca Valarezo – is most definitely a hot trainer. She was a finalist in the now-defunct “Hottest NY Trainer” contest in the now-defunct Racked. But she’s not one of my contestants.]


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