Sometimes my dick isn’t hard

It’s true.

Days go by without my cock stiffening.

For some, this would just be a curious deviation from the norm.

For me, it’s like death.

Honestly. If a day goes by and my cock doesn’t grow hard, I start to wonder if I’m still alive. I start to look for things I can do to make it hard.

And after two days?

I’m in full-on panic mode. I start to feel dead.

This isn’t good.

If three days go by, there’s a not-insignificant part of me that begins to imagine I am dead.

Let me be clear: I’m not exaggerating. This is, sadly, a psychic reality for me. I do believe I’m dead on a very fundamental level when my cock isn’t hard. This sits at the core of my years-long compulsive sexual behavior. A desperate attempt to feel alive.

I suspect many addicts recognize this sensation, the feeling of death that our drug or behavior of choice oddly both counters and reinforces.

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