It is, quite literally, the case that when my cock isn’t hard, I often feel dead. In these moments, I look for a way of reminding myself, reassuring myself, I’m alive.
The simplest most straightforward way of accomplishing this, of course, is to get a fucking hard-on. I can use porn, or a person, or my hand, or my thoughts, to get my dick hard, to make me feel vibrant, powerful, alive. (It’s telling I’m not saying it’s the orgasm I crave, but the erection.)
There are other ways, though. I can, for example, feel my pulse. Or follow my breath. Or try to notice the sensations throughout my body: my forehead is sweaty, my thighs feel constrained by my too-tight boxers, my mouth is dry, my glutes sore. I couldn’t feel these things were I truly dead; feeling them, attending to them, therefore, reminds me I’m alive.
I can think of the people in my life – my family, my friends, my professional colleagues. I can think of the challenges they are facing, the recent joys they’ve experienced. I can wish them well, I can feel compassion for them. All these remind me I’m alive.
I can do something for someone. Make something, plan something, buy something. Doing just about anything that directs some of my energy toward making the world better for someone else? That’s a sure-fire way to feel alive.
How do you feel alive?
It’s funny to think that, had I seen this post earlier in the day, I would have found something positive to say.
And tonight, I draw a big blank. I don’t feel very alive I guess. :-/
All your ideas to feel alive were life affirming.
So I don’t know why it is that when I need, really need to feel alive, pain seems to be the only way to convince myself.
My connections to other people make me feel alive… Talking with my family, chasten, friends and sharing laughs or memories…teaching my students and through them making the world a better place, makes me feel alive…sexy flirtation w a lover and the anticipation of us touching, skin to skin, the thrill of talking about our sexual activities…the desire and longing as we anticipate the first time or next time we are together…definitely make me feel alive!