I never

I was talking with a friend (well, actually, I was watching her as she made herself come for me) the other day.

I pointed out to her, as her body convulsed with her fifth consecutive orgasm (and as my neighbors in the coffee shop obliviously sipped their lattes), that this was a terrific new entry in a lascivious game of “I never.” And it got me to thinking….

Here are a few of my best entries in such a game, all in the last couple of years

– I never watched a woman come in Starbucks (duh)

– I never asked a woman to kneel before me in a bar before

– I never signed into a Chinese hotel in a box only big enough for three or four letters

– I never flogged a woman with a belt

– I never was told by a woman I didn’t (really) know, “I need to suck your cock.”

– I never was dumped by a woman I’d never met

– I never exhausted the storage available in a Gmail account

– I never fucked a woman who had been in a gangbang – earlier that day

– I never grabbed a sheidl while kissing a (potentially) pregnant Hasid

Just a few….