Getting and having

V and I recently had a date. It was hot. You’ll read about it in due time. I just finished my part 1, she just finished her part 1. They’re very different. They focus on different parts of the first part of the evening, and they have a very different perspective. And yet, they are clearly accounts of the same evening.

And now, I’m turning to part 2 of that evening. (This post here is a meta-post, a post inspired by my turning to part 2 of the evening.) Regular readers of this blog know that what really excites me, what I do well, what I write about well, is the conception of an evening. If anything, this is something I do too well. Or rather, it’s where all my energy goes. L has on occasion lamented that my dates with others look hauntingly like my dates with her looked. There certainly are tropes to my fantasies. When a woman signs up to be “dominated” by me, she signs up for some predictable things: I’m going to want to see pictures of her in and, to a lesser extent, out of, clothes. I’m going to want her to wear boyshorts, stockings/thigh-highs, skirts, dresses, jeans, t-shirts. I’m going to want to watch her make herself cum. I’m going to want to spend hours going down on her, and for her to spend hours going down on me. I’m going to want to fuck, yes, but only as occasional interludes in what is, for me, the main course of oral. There will be some light domination, light spanking, but not too much, and it’ll be more playful than hard-core erotic.

And when we have dates, there will be parts of our evenings where we’re not yet together, where we are observing each other across a bar. I’ll tell her what to do, probably by text. I’ll want her to spread her legs, to play with herself. I may want her to take off her panties. And when we come together – which may happen in a bar, or restaurant, or it may not until we go to a more intimate setting, there will continue to be some teasing before we get to the sex.

And the truth is – all this is what I find most titillating, most exciting, about sex. I mean, it wouldn’t work for me if the sex stopped here, at the moment when we get to the room, or before we actually touch – that part is crucial, a sine qua non, for me. And/but, it’s not the part I fantasize about, not the part I remember. No.

The parts that loom largest for me are the parts before, the parts where we move from being two separate people, coming from separate places, to forming a single coupling. The parts that are exciting to me are the parts where a woman demonstrates – to me, to others – her compliance with my will, her desire to give me what I want.

And yes, it’s true, what I want isn’t all that variable. Or rather, it varies substantially within very narrow confines.

But this is because, just like a toddler, what I want, really, isn’t to have, it’s to get.

I have more to say on this subject, and I will.

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