Back and forth with Persephone

She says that she’s “easy to project onto,” that people often manage to see what they want to see when they interact with her. I certainly fell prey to this in our first few back-and-forths (backs-and-forth). I thought the flirtiness, the connection, was mutual, and was felt in both of us somewhere south of our navels. (I certainly was feeling it south of my navel.) But there came a moment – we were discussing what she might wear while stretching with me, what I might buy her to wear when stretching with me – when she made abundantly clear that I was confused.

I had just written to her, “My goal: push you to the very edge of your comfort zone. In ways that are hot and fun. But challenging.”

Her reply: “That sounds outside the parameters of my stretching buddy duties.”

I said, “I see. Thank you for saying that.”

She said, “Am I wrong?”

I replied: “Duties? No. Definitely not wrong.”

More back-and-forth ensued, and we recovered, pretty promptly, into a relationship that looked ever-so-slightly different, from my perspective. From hers? I can’t really say. I told her I was grateful for her having told me “no,” and I meant it: I always want to know where I stand, and I’m genuinely a big boy. I’m capable of near-psychotic reactions in relationships, for sure, but not (ever) when someone shows me respect and honesty in communication. Reject me to my face, saying “No”? I’m fine with that. Act it out slowly/passively? I may well go absolutely insane.

Persephone’s rejection was perfect. If every woman in the world who didn’t want my cock in her mouth, who didn’t want to get off to/with/for me, told me so in clear, quick, terms? I’d be a happy guy. Honestly.

And the truth is, Persephone didn’t tell me those things (though, to be fair, I think if I asked she would, at least today). No, Persephone just told me that she wasn’t comfortable with something I was revving up to ask.

We’ve continued stretching. I’ve continued to learn about her. She’s lovely, smart, interesting. She described herself, amusingly, as “a failed whore.” She’s had several relationships with men from Seeking. Only one has resulted in money explicitly changing hands, and that was a guy she didn’t have sex with, and only saw once. She’s going to succeed at her whoring shortly – and it will take her even further from me than the thousand miles that currently lie between us.

That’s ok. Because very soon, she’ll be wearing these for me. And I’ll be a happy guy, with her pretty ass and face in my face:

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