Oral fixation

“You do seem to enjoy and know much about the oral activities. Still not convinced though. 🙂 I must just be a weirdo but it still doesn’t quite appeal to me the way it might to others.”

Athena thinks I’m trying to change her mind about allowing me to devour her cunt. She’s (mostly) mistaken. She told me “no.” And I believe her. I genuinely believe that she doesn’t want my tongue on her clit, my fingers in her pussy, my thumb pressing against her asshole, that she doesn’t want to feel my forehead pressing her pubis down, my breath, hot on her panties, on her cunt. I do believe her; I don’t think she’s going to change her mind. I don’t even think reading those words I just wrote particularly turns her on.

Partly, I think this has to do with how she sees me. And partly, with how she relates to oral sex.

I responded: “I’m not trying to convince you. I know I’m not gonna get your clit. I’m just using you for inspiration.”

I added: “Many women don’t enjoy oral. My experience has been that most who don’t find it hard to relax during sex, and don’t often feel entitled to their own pleasure during sex. Often. Not always. Many such women I’ve been with use sex to feel powerful. Being the recipient of all that attention feels vulnerable, unsafe, for many. Powerless. Scary.”

If I had to guess, I would say this last bit is Athena: she’s very used to the power her looks, her body, exert over men.

I have a (straight, female) friend who lamented, after her first trip to the Pines (a VERY gay resort community on Fire Island), that her superpowers simply didn’t work there. She was surrounded by hot men who seemed immune to her charms.

Athena, I think, feels safest when she knows she is in the driver’s seat, when she knows the power she holds. This isn’t to say that she isn’t capable of submitting: I imagine that, with the right guy, Athena will submit. Gleefully. Joyfully. Compellingly. But I also imagine that, in order for her to feel safe submitting, she needs some indication of her power.

I’m making this up – she has told me nothing. This is just my hypothesis, based on our conversations, on my observations. But.

I think that, if Athena is being paid, she might consider submitting, because the money changing hands gives her the confidence and security she needs to know that she is, truly, in control. But in a more conventional, non-compensated, relationship, I imagine that Athena needs to be crystal clear that she’s in charge.

Hence the whole lack of appeal of being ravished orally. It’s just the exact opposite of being in charge.

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