There are a number of women with whom I’ve interacted who give me the ambivalence I seem to crave. This is an (alphabetical) chronicle of ambivalence. It’s not complete, but it’s indicative both of how I seem to inspire ambivalence, and to court it.

The Amazon: You may recall how much I enjoyed her mouth. She saw me on sufferance from her boyfriend, which sufferance was removed. And then she moved.

Annica: We had a bad date, and some fun sex. It looked as if things were going to accelerate quickly, but then drama in her life pulled her away. She made some noise about returning in September. I sure hope she does.

Anya: We had a good date, drinks only, and a quickly ratcheting electronic relationship, but then she disappeared into a relationship. Recently, she’s resurfaced. But she’s reticent….

Emily: We had a fun remote relationship, never met. But she started getting fucked regularly by a boyfriend and what I was providing became less compelling. She vanished, slowly, and now is gone.

Tamora: We’ve met twice. Both times were crazy fun. Her mouth is phenomenal, her breasts are phenomenal, her thighs are phenomenal. It feels criminal to me that I haven’t spent more time licking her clit, using her for my pleasure. But she blows hot and cold, reflecting what I gather isn’t ambivalence about me so much as about the portion of her sexuality that I tap into.

V: I’ve said all there is to say about her. (Well, maybe not, but still.) She’s off in a relationship with which I’m incompatible. That’s all.

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