My friend–update 2 (status update)

She’s still in the hospital. She had a spinal fusion ten days or so ago, and though she was discharged, briefly, to a safe house, she was hospitalized again after she developed an infection. She’s been fighting a high fever and has been heavily sedated for much of the last few days, but her resolve seems to have been growing, rather than diminishing, as time passes.

She had a bunch of near misses – moments when she went as far as to call a cab to take her “home,” but the staff of the hospital and her various virtual friends seem to have helped reorient her toward reality.

Unfortunately, as with many women in such a situation, while it’s clear what she’s leaving, it’s not at all clear where she’s headed. Given that she’s starting with nothing – no job, no home, no money, no family, no friends – she’s got an uphill climb. One of the slogans of 12-step land is “Recovery is learning that much of life is biking uphill, and learning to enjoy it.” When I was in my “recovery,” this one in particular gave me trouble: I never wanted to bike uphill, and acting out sexually gave me an easy way to avoid it (for an hour). She’s in a similar position. On any given day, she could choose to go back to the life out of which she wrested herself. Help her develop and maintain the strength to build a new life.

Write to her – in the comments here, or in private messages you send to me. Send money – to me, here, or to the organization of your choice. Make yourself available to her. Tell her your stories, share your resources. She needs your help.

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