My sister blogger, Liza, recently tweeted about this super-hot scene in which James Deen goes down on Nicole Ray.  It’s pretty perfect, to my mind (and, judging from the Twitter-verse, to the minds of a number of ladies who were grateful to Liza for her having pointed it out to them).

But, if I may, for a moment, critique James Deen’s cunning linguistic techniques.  (Arrogant, presumptuous, I know.  Still….)

First, and for the record:  I think James is pretty fucking phenomenal – not just at going down, but at fucking, and at being fucked, at being sucked off, too.  He’s pretty much my sexual role model.  And, I think he’s sexy as hell – this, from a straight guy.  Maybe I think he’s hot because he’s sort of my type – not the type I like, the type I am.  He’s my height.  He’s a bit less muscular than I am (and while I have a good body, I think, I don’t think anyone would describe me as being “musclebound”). So the fact that he pulls off being maddeningly sexy while being non-threatening, physically, is huge.  And on top of that, he comes across as being generally dominant in the way that I am – not overpoweringly so, but strong, and sure.

Now – that said.  I was disappointed not to see some things in this clip that, to me, would have made it infinitely hotter:

And it all boils down to hands.

For him, cunnilingus seems to be all about the mouth.  He used his hands – to great effect, as Liza pointed out in her tweet, for a sort of “half-nelson” hold on Nicole.  But he didn’t do several things with his hands that I would have.

He didn’t finger Nicole, using them to penetrate her while his tongue was on her clit.

He didn’t press against her taint, or into her ass.

He didn’t even (notwithstanding his “half-nelson” hold) seem to press down on Nicole’s pubis.  Now, in my experience, this is a hugely effective thing to do – to apply pressure on the pubis, rhythmically, and in time with the stimulation I’m giving to the clit, particularly as my partner nears orgasm.  And then – once the orgasm comes?  More, unrelenting, pressure on the pubis is awesome.

Now I’m a guy.  I’m speaking about what appears to be effective, what appears to feel good, what my wife and others have indicated works really well for them.

Ladies, am I right?  Would it have been hotter with these additions?  Or am I barking up the wrong tree?


  1. Haha, you know how to get me to click on your links instantaneously! I agree with your assessment, however, I do not think that JD is remiss in the areas in general, though perhaps in this scene. Part of what I love about him is his very effective handiwork. I would accept a number of his variations anytime.  Having said that, I am still a great fan of the half-nelson. As a squirmer, it’s very effective on me.

  2. You were ” disappointed to not see some things in this clip that…would have made it infinitely hotter” which begs the question:  It would’ve been “inifinitely hotter” for whom- you as the viewer or to the lucky woman receiving that tongue lashing?  

    I for one didn’t notice anything lacking in Mr. Deen’s technique. 
    However, I did notice your attention to detail.  
    And I do agree that hands-on oral is infinitely better.  For me as the particpant. 
    As a viewer, that fact that I did not actually see James demonstrate his handi-work in no way diminished my thoughts of how hot it must feel to recieve oral from him.  
    But as an avid reader of your blog, I can’t help but feel on fire with desire imagining how hot it must feel to have both your tongue AND hands/fingers on me, inside me….
    On. Fire.  

  3. “Now, in my experience, this is a hugely effective thing to do – to apply pressure on the pubis,”

    Yes. Yes. Yes. I wish more people knew about this.

    I’m a fan of rhythmic fingers on the g-spot, steady pressure on the pubis, and an over-active tongue on my clitoris.

    Unfortunately, I’m one of those women who can’t orgasm from oral sex alone. I need some g-spot stimulation, otherwise, it isn’t going to happen for me.

      1. Even with pressure, fingers, face, a man with three hands and never-ending patience, it’s still difficult for me to get off. I’ve only ever come to orgasm with a partner a couple of times in my life.

        Sad, frustrated Domme is sad and frustrated.

        Not so delicious.  🙂

          1. I’ve used a We-vibe with a past casual partner a few times during PIV sex, and it worked, once.

            Other than that, no. 

            I realize I shouldn’t be picky, but I don’t want to. I don’t think I’d mind using one if I was able to orgasm with my current partner at least once first.

            My current partner and I have been together over a year though, so it’s looking like I’m going to have to pull out the big guns.

            I really, really don’t want to though.

          2. I’m not a sex columnist, but….

            This sounds a bit like a manufactured problem. The problem is that you can’t cum in a certain way. But you can cum another way. And you want to cum the way you can’t.

            The problem isn’t how you do or don’t cum. It’s how you relate to how you cum. If you go the rest of your life constructing this as a problem, you’ll die miserable about it. But if you can find a path to sharing the way you do cum with a partner, and involving him/her in it, and seeing that as hot sex, then you’ve hit the jackpot.

          3. Well, thanks, but I hope you know I wasn’t soliciting advice. But, it is an interesting conversation.

            First, the “problem” is a bit more complex than what a comment or blog post would indicate. There are lots of factors that I don’t share on the interwebs, but that’s not really important to what follows.

            Second, imagine yourself in my shoes.

            If you were in my position, I assume the scenario would be something like this: you have a partner who you love, are immensely attracted to, but you can’t cum inside of her during sex and you can’t cum in her mouth. The only way you can cum is sitting beside her, jacking yourself off with some masturbatory aid. She can participate, sure, but she can’t make you cum—her pussy doesn’t make you cum, her hands don’t make you cum, and her mouth doesn’t make you cum. You have to make yourself cum, not inside her, not on her, just next to her.

            Sure. That might be hot here and there, but as a sort of standard practice, how easy would it be for you to see that as hot sex? Wouldn’t you want more? And if you did want more, would that wanting be a “manufactured problem?”

          4. I take your basic points – that a) you weren’t seeking advice, and b) your situation is complex. But the hypothetical you propose? My response would be the same. Seems to me that (and maybe this is a basic life point, rather than a sexual point) when things ARE a certain way, when they resist change, the greatest prospect for happiness likes in acceptance. Not in roll-over-and-play-dead acceptance, but in wise-old-person acceptance. If the way I’m wired doesn’t let me cum in my partner (today or any day), then fuck, I hope I have the good fortune to be able to smile and enjoy cumming wherever, whenever, however I can.

            Orgasms are pretty great. It seems somehow tragic to turn the timing or location of something so great as an orgasm into an occasion for suffering.
            This isn’t in any way to belittle your frustration. It’s just to propose that sometimes (at least for me) it’s easier to accept a problem than to change its symptom.

            In any event – I wish you many orgasms at the time and place of your preference!

          5. Than you’re a better man than I, which is good, seeing as how I’m not a man and all.

            I’m not ready to smile and accept it just yet. I want more. 🙂

            That’s not to say that I’ll leave him if it doesn’t happen, or that I’m “suffering” for the lack, I’m just not ready to settle for what I have. I think more is possible, and so, I’m going to aim for that.

            I want him to choke trying to swallow it all, I want soaked sheets, and I want absolute bliss. I’m not ready to give up on that just yet.

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