Secrecy and shame

I found this on a scrap of paper. I have no idea when I wrote it.

There’s a relationship between secrecy and shame. Somehow when I keep secrets, it puts me in touch with my shame. I suppose that’s why I keep secrets. But… 

In the olden days, a night like this would have filled me with pride. Tonight I feel pride, But…

I also feel a vice-like grip on my chest as I contemplate having to lie, having to shade the truth. 
The relationship between shame and secrecy is mutually reinforcing.

The secrecy itself constitutes the bulk of the shame.

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