I sent Charlotte a little questionnaire about control – about the various ways in which I’ve exercised control, about which ways she likes more, which she likes less – and about how her feelings about those various forms of control vary depending on where she is, physically. We’ve been all over the place in recent days, from 0 to 100 and back to 0. Right now, she’s telling me she’d like to go to 100. I’m finding all this back and forth a little… confusing? exhausting? challenging?
The thing is, 100 is really fucking fun. Zero really fucking sucks. And I really really would prefer to be at, say, 60 or 70, in general, with fluctuations of 10 or so in either direction.
And/but…. It’s hard to say no to 100!
Right now, she’s in a liminal space. Physically apart from me – and from the temptations of men other than me, as well. And in that space, she wants to be at 100. My own instinct, after reviewing her questionnaire, is that I want to aim for something a bit more… stable. For a level of control that’s maybe a little greater than that she’s comfortable with when here, but not all the way off the charts.
So here’s what I’m thinking. While she’s away:
- Her pussy belongs to me. She touches her pussy – or doesn’t – at my direction, with my permission.
- Ditto re: orgasms. I hope to direct some edging. Some denial. And then, some relief.
- Ditto, even, re: dates with others. I will not withhold permission for dates while she’s there, but I want to be asked. [I would like this, also, at home. Not so I can say “no”; so I can say “yes.”]
- She has told me she doesn’t want me to choose her clothes while she’s away, because she’s picked out her clothes already. Fine. But I want to see her dress each day.
- We haven’t discussed this. But I want her to take some pictures for me. She has, generally, been ok with providing individual photos on request. She has struggled a bit with my tendency to give her more… involved… requests. I really enjoy the constraints and creativity associated with assigning a full photoshoot, like, say, the one below. I like saying, “Charlotte: use this for inspiration. Don’t worry about being too faithful to the shoot; just use it for inspiration. The general poses, the basic outfit.” I want to find a path toward giving her assignments she finds fun.
- [This should be 4, but my WordPress skills are failing me.] I also want to ask her for the occasional photo on demand. Her cunt/thighs. Her ass. Her pretty pretty face. Her lovely tits.
- [5.] I want to give her tasks. To have her edge for me. To have her do some virtual shopping for me. To pick out sexy photos of others for me.
- [6.] I want a few windows of her time. She is ambivalent about that, because she doesn’t know what to anticipate, and this makes her anxious. I would like to find a way to structure my requests for her time in a way that isn’t just neutral, or anxiety-inducing, but is, actually, hot for her. [One idea: I could make a menu of, say, a variety of choices of ways she might spend 1, 3, or 5 minutes, and I could share that menu with her. She could, when the time came, select from choices on that menu.]
- [7.] I definitely want comprehensive, ongoing information about her interactions/relationships with other men.
- [8.] I would prefer that she commit to my being the only man with the right to direct her actions outside the bedroom. Both while she’s away, and once she’s back.
All of this, obviously, is subject to continual revisitation, and to continuous, meaningful consent. Charlotte gets to say “Basta” to anything and everything at any time she wishes. She is, ultimately, the one in control here. It’s just that it’s really fucking hot when she gives some or all that control to me, for however long….