I just realized that I’ve been depressed. It’s been a while, and I’m intrigued that the way I realized it is by… emerging from my depression. Or at least, starting to.

For several years, my libido has been intermittent to non-existent. I’ve felt considerable pain. And, Trump. And then, COVID.

COVID was the worst. I don’t think I appreciated how social I am, how much I depend on interactions with friends, acquaintances, and strangers to nourish me. I mean, I did appreciate it, but I didn’t appreciate it fully.

In the last few weeks, life has (notwithstanding the mounting cases among those who, for whatever reasons, still haven’t gotten vaccinated in my country where, now, it’s criminally easy, given how difficult/impossible it is for something like the majority of the world’s population) started to return to normal.

Saturday night, I went to a party. A party! My first party since February 2020. I saw good friends and acquaintances. I met a bunch of interesting, smart, hot strangers. We drank too much and stayed up too late. It was fucking awesome.

Sunday night, I had my second dinner since COVID with a group of five of the people I’m closest to. We had a delicious meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant. We agreed to meet again monthly on Sundays.

Last night, we had dinner with two very close friends to celebrate a big event in one of their lives.

Tomorrow night, dinner with my oldest, most complicated friend. Friday, with another old, complicated friend. I just bought tickets for a ballgame with a friend who loves baseball much more than I (which isn’t much), whom I love and haven’t seen in three years.

I’m in pig heaven, my spirits rising to the sky as I feed my hunger for social interaction. And, my libido is roaring back. In recent days I’ve planned not one but two dates. My last date was with V, nearly a year ago. I’m gonna taste some new pussy, feel a new mouth or two, squeeze some fresh, new asses.

And, I’ve lost ten pounds since the beginning of June. I’m not yet where I was ten years ago – to get there, I need to lose twenty more. But I’m exercising more. Stretching daily. Eating less. And, recovering from a moped accident quickly. All (or at least most) is good.

I promise to keep you posted.


  1. This is definitely not depression. I think that you are getting out of it safely. With which I congratulate you.

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