Does anyone want?
I’m so meta in everything, I never do something so straightforward as want-ing. When I want, there are multiple components to what I’m doing. I’m anticipating, I’m “self-ing,” defining myself with respect to what it is I want, and I’m aching for the meaning around the object, person, activity I desire, for the things I can do with it, her.
“I want you,” I say.
But that’s so incomplete as to be almost entirely wrong.
What I want is from you, of you.
When you give yourself to me, when you allow me to take what I want from you (your mouth, your cunt, your compliance) what I get is something other than what you’re giving: I’m getting a sense of deep, internal well-being. You can’t give it to me, but I can take it from you. I can use you, what you’re giving to me, to manufacture that sense in myself.
I wrote a week or so ago about the chain of thoughts and desires that flow from me when I see a beautiful ass in black leggings. I note how… removed… from the typical real of desires is mine.
Am I alone in this? When you want, what is it that you want?
I like this idea : You can’t give it to me, but I can take it from you.
This is what I find so nice in any relationship : one cannot give anything but oneself, so that the other can take what it is they need. One just needs to remember to not lose track of one’s self in the process…