On compliance

Compliance is such a turn-on for me.

Imperfect compliance is such a turn-off.

Some doms get off on, really enjoy, training their subs. I don’t. I have nothing against – enjoy, even, working with a woman who’s learning about (her) submission. But training implies a certain level of… resistance… on the part of the submissive. This holds no appeal to me.

If you and I are engaged in dominance and submission together, I don’t want to train you, particularly. I want you to be good. I’m entirely o.k. with your learning. What I have zero patience for is your willfully testing my limits, pushing back. That just holds zero appeal.

If it’s helpful… I want you to interact with me as I always have strived to interact with bosses – and as I always have expected subordinates to interact with me.

If you work for me, I give you responsibilities, tasks. I expect you to uphold your responsibilities, to complete your tasks. I expect that all to be done well.

I might well expect you to have concerns about some or other task I might assign you. Thoughts, opinions, wisdom. Maybe, because you’re closer to the task than I am, you might know that there’s a better way, that there’s something you could suggest that would represent an improvement to my request. I would welcome that suggestion. I wouldn’t welcome your presuming to do it the way you think (the way you think you know?) would represent an improvement, because, well, I might know some things you don’t know. You know?

Maybe I might ask you to do something you’re not comfortable doing, for whatever reason. For the most part, I’m respectful. I appreciate that sometimes, you might not be the right person, say, for a particular task. (One partner of mine is crystal clear that she doesn’t want me to come in her mouth, and that this isn’t negotiable for her, for better or worse. That’s fine with me. I’ll come somewhere else.) If you tell me you’re not the right person for a particular task (or that a particular task isn’t right for you), that’s just fine. I’ll almost certainly respect that.


I don’t want to have to ask twice.

I don’t want to have to justify my request.

I don’t want push back.

If for any reason, what I ask is something with which you’re uncomfortable, something you really don’t want to do, something you don’t think I should ask for, please, please, just tell me this. Tell me clearly, directly, respectfully. And, if at all possible, look for an alternative you can offer. You don’t want me to come in your mouth? Tell me that in a way that respects my desire to come in your mouth, and that offers me a palatable, or even preferable, alternative.

Is this all clear?


  1. Never think so much about stuff like domination and submission, if a woman appears in front of me willingly, I just do it! Have a nice weekend and happy holiday!

  2. Hmmm I don’t get trend on by denying requests but sometimes I just don’t want to do anything. I’m not trying to test anyone but not doing things.

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