Three Crushes

1. Diamond: Yeah, I still want her. She is almost asexual, she’s tall, she’s big. She isn’t that introspective. She has a boyfriend, and if they’re not monogamous, it’s a big secret from each of them. She’s most definitely not my type. But man, do I want her. Every so often, she seems to imagine she might want me and reaches out with a flirty voicemail or e-mail. But then, caution gets the better of her and she disappears. Until she resurfaces.

2. The Lifeguard: Oh. My. God. She’s in her mid-20s. She moves in slow motion – like a 70s shampoo commercial. Her Baywatch red bikini is almost criminally hot on her. She’s sweet and friendly, not at all flirty, but still lovely. I see her in the summer. I think about her occasionally during the rest of the year.

3. The student: she’s 30, engaged to be married. She’s studiously not flirty, even as she’s constantly, overtly sexy. Oh my, is she hot to be around.

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