Not sure how I feel about memes like this, but I’ll try this one, just ‘cause it’s at least a little raunchy. It’s framed as multiple choice, but, in the immortal words from the Treasure of the Sierra Madre, and from Blazing Saddles, I don’t need no stinking multiple choice. Don’t click through if you don’t want to learn relatively banal answers to relatively banal questions:
1. A friend is coming to have sex. There are 3 twin beds and an air mattress in the room. What do you do? (choose one)
Have sex on every available surface.
2. What is the oddest thing you have in your bedroom that someone would be surprised to find. Why is it there?
Definitely a sewing machine. Fuck if I know.
3. What are your favorite sheets?
It never occurred to me to have favorite sheets. I like sheets.
4. Do you sleep with sheets tucked in or out? Why?
Out. Because they come untucked moments after I get in bed.
5. What is your usual bedtime? Why?
5 [sic]. Do you sleep with closet door(s) shut or open? Bedroom door shut or open? Any particular reason why?
Ah, an age-old dispute between my wife and me….
6. Have you ever broken a bed or other furniture during sex?
Yes. My last year of college, I had a streak of three consecutive broken futons with three different women.
7. What’s your favorite type of bed for sex?
I like beds for sex.
8. What do you sleep in?
Underwear, unless we’re kidless, in which case, nude.
Ok – I just finished this. And it seems kinda lame. Like, does anyone really want to know this stuff? I don’t think so. I mean, if it helps draw interested readers here, great, but I can’t imagine any of you really cares what time I go to bed. So… sorry.