Margot

I reflect on a conversation with Margot about her unrealized fantasy of double penetration and a gangbang, realizing what excites me isn’t the act itself but the trust she’d place in me to keep her safe while curating such an evening — and the gratitude that might follow.

I had an epiphany connecting my engagement with sex workers — and my uncertainty about Margot’s performativity — to my childhood in a ‘funhouse of distortion,’ raised to believe my father was straight. Wondering whether Margot is real or performing repeats the same psychic wound: never being able to trust what I saw or was told.