Territory
Desire & Power
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Jade ii
Read moreJade II has owed me an orgasm for months. Two minutes and forty-three seconds later, I have it.
Paean
Read moreI follow a woman across the Brooklyn Bridge on a bike-share, rooting for the wind to lift her coat.
Biking through pain toward something like insight
Read moreBiking is the only way I can get anywhere without real pain. In a week they replace the first knee.
Needy nick
Read moreP doesn’t text back, and I’ve discovered that I can’t do this. No hard feelings – just sad.
My knees
Read moreTwo knee replacements coming, and I can barely walk fifty yards to the bike share without crying.
Paean
Read moreBiking through lower Manhattan, surrounded by beautiful women, wanting all of it and knowing better.
Mass and void
Read moreI’ve only got four pictures of you, and your sweaters tell me everything I need to know.
Too late
Read moreI should have gone there first. By the time the bar called my name, it was too late.
I asked about your masturbation
Read moreI asked, you answered, and I didn’t love the answer. I’m a toddler: if you’re masturbating, I want you thinking about me.
Fear, sadness
Read moreI’m getting two new knees in my 50s, and I’m terrified.
Folly continued yet again
Read moreP emailed again, and my heart leapt again – like it always does, like an idiot.
Paean
Read moreKelly green bike shorts, a high braid, and suddenly I’m riding faster than I meant to.
Pv
Read moreI wrote this in 2014, and just stumbled on it. Interesting, no? (We never had sex, but she still shows up in my various feeds.)
Anticipation
Read moreFound poem in “The Ethical Slut”: many good ways to stay safe. Hold structure fairly.
Permission
Read moreI want to consciously allow myself to fantasize about sex, scenarios, and people—regardless of possibility or appropriateness—while reminding myself that imagination does not require action.
Ai porn and the fantasy of omnipotence
Read moreI increasingly find that I prefer AI-generated pornography over real-life encounters and traditional porn – it indulges my perverse fantasy of omnipotent control without the difficulties of human interaction.
Dominance, dubmission, and new dating dynamics
Read moreAfter years of D/s relationships, my presumptuous and demanding habits are causing missteps as I start dating older, more experienced women.
Evolving fantasies and the safety of guidance
Read moreAnother woman guides my hands. I’m safe, and relieved from decision-making.
The return of maxie
Read moreMaxie returns to the picture.
Commuting
Read moreAn appreciation for the thrill of being tossed around like a rag doll.
