Territory
The Interior
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A thought to ponder
Read moreAdam Phillips, on the futility of sexual jealousy.
Anger
Read moreFor me, anger is never primary. It’s always protecting me from something else — usually fear.
Shame
Read moreShame lives in my body — hot, constricting, brutal. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Rejection – in the other direction
Read moreI’ve written a lot about being rejected, but what about when I’m the one doing the rejecting? It happens less often than you’d think, and more awkwardly than I’d like.
Farewell to the amazon
Read moreThe Amazon says goodbye, and tells me about the man who owns her pussy.
Desire as a public good
Read moreThe things I want from the women in my life are remarkably consistent, and that consistency can feel, to each of them, like a diminishment.
Lust-based decisions
Read moreLust is like TV: it can educate, divert, or rot your soul. The trick is knowing which channel you’re on.
Presumptuous
Read moreI called Angela a slut, imagined her fucking other guys, and managed to turn my own fear of rejection into an insult. I owe her an apology.
Narcissism, from a different angle
Read moreA Playboy mention, some flattering analytics, and a meditation on what happens when strangers actually stick around.
Sex addiction – a primer
Read moreMy evolving opinions on a diagnosis that doesn’t actually exist.
The hydraulics of rejection
Read moreRejection makes me want a blow job from a stranger and a cigarette, in that order. Instead, I’m just sitting here, feeling it.
Plenty
Read moreThe volatile narcissism of self-esteem: how quickly I can swing from buoyant to bereft, and back again, all on the evidence of women’s desire.
My most frequent visitors
Read moreA roll call of my most devoted readers, and a nakedly narcissistic plea to know what keeps them coming back.
(im)mortality
Read moreMy brain would rather be anywhere but here — planning dinner, rehearsing catastrophes, fantasizing — as if the present moment were the one place it can’t bear to stay.
I like a woman who needs my cock
Read moreThe title pretty much says it.
Two flavors of shame
Read moreTwo flavors of shame — and neither is better, neither is harder.
Thoughts on what feels good (getting vs. having #3,245)
Read moreThe getting feels better than the having — and that realization explains more about me than I’m entirely comfortable with.
Monogamy and rejection
Read moreThe sting of rejection is a gift I’d never get if I were monogamous. I’m not sure I’d call it a gift I *want*, but it’s one I need.
The moth and the flame, continued
Read moreWhen a woman shows interest in me, my body goes into overdrive — and my judgment disappears.
Sex addiction
Read moreThe question of whether sex addiction is real is less interesting than what we’re really asking when we ask it.
