Territory
The Interior
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Self-destruction
Read moreShe stood me up two nights in a row, and two nights in a row, I let her. This isn’t a complaint about her — it’s an observation about me.
Rethinking addiction
Read moreMy thinking about sex addiction is evolving — the neuroscience is more interesting, and the sex addiction industrial complex more bankrupt, than I previously understood.
(sex) addiction
Read moreA running index of my thoughts on whether sex addiction is real, and whether I have it.
Paeans and want, or, life in the big city
Read moreA pretty woman on the stairs, a tingle in my cock, and the long road from wanting more to wanting enough.
Infinity
Read moreI used to crave rejection. Now I crave an endless supply of its opposite. Neither, it turns out, is available forever.
The sting of rejection
Read moreA woman I’ve never met rejected me, and my body knew it before my mind did.
Jealousy (both sides now)
Read moreI know the sting of jealousy well, but I’m shockingly blind to the jealousy I inspire in others.
Male sexual violence
Read moreWe men are like a kid running with scissors: irresponsible and dangerous.
Terminology (ii)
Read moreA reader asked me to define narcissism. I’m happy to oblige — it’s a word I know intimately.
Terminology (i)
Read moreA glossary of sorts — what I actually mean when I say “compulsion” and “addiction,” and why the distinction matters more than you might think.
Teen sexuality (cont’d)
Read moreA reader responds, thoughtfully and at length, to my earlier post on teen sexuality.
Sex addiction revisited
Read moreI keep circling back to this one, because smart people I admire keep getting it wrong in the same way.
Rejection
Read moreThe feeling I fear most is the one I’ve spent years seeking out.
Program note
Read moreFreud is my bartender, and I’d like to tell you what he’s been serving me.
Speaking the unspeakable
Read morePubescent girls affect me in ways I wish they didn’t. Here are some thoughts about all that.
Addicted to what?
Read moreIt wasn’t the sex I was addicted to — it was the endless, shimmering promise of it, glowing on screen after screen.
Remembering a dark moment
Read moreI sat in the dark for hours, waiting for a woman to make me come to life again. Then I’d scurry home and pretend I’d never been there.
On desiring, being desired
Read moreI want, and I want to be wanted — but not too much, and only if I might not be.
Getting and having
Read moreJust like a toddler, what I want isn’t to have — it’s to get.
Love and desire
Read moreDesire is to getting as love is to having. And getting is always better than having.
