Territory
The Interior
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Terminology (i)
Read moreA glossary of sorts — what I actually mean when I say “compulsion” and “addiction,” and why the distinction matters more than you might think.
Teen sexuality (cont’d)
Read moreA reader responds, thoughtfully and at length, to my earlier post on teen sexuality.
Sex addiction revisited
Read moreI keep circling back to this one, because smart people I admire keep getting it wrong in the same way.
Rejection
Read moreThe feeling I fear most is the one I’ve spent years seeking out.
Program note
Read moreFreud is my bartender, and I’d like to tell you what he’s been serving me.
Speaking the unspeakable
Read morePubescent girls affect me in ways I wish they didn’t. Here are some thoughts about all that.
Addicted to what?
Read moreIt wasn’t the sex I was addicted to — it was the endless, shimmering promise of it, glowing on screen after screen.
Remembering a dark moment
Read moreI sat in the dark for hours, waiting for a woman to make me come to life again. Then I’d scurry home and pretend I’d never been there.
On desiring, being desired
Read moreI want, and I want to be wanted — but not too much, and only if I might not be.
Getting and having
Read moreJust like a toddler, what I want isn’t to have — it’s to get.
Love and desire
Read moreDesire is to getting as love is to having. And getting is always better than having.
My quest for rejection, my discomfort with acceptance
Read moreI’m unnervingly talented at engineering the rejection I claim to fear most.
Ratings
Read moreTell me what you like. Tell me what you don’t. Just hit the stars — no interaction required.
Shame, apologies, amends
Read moreI was ashamed of the wrong things, and I lied without knowing I was lying.
Special redux, redux
Read moreI don’t just want you. I want you to want everything I want, for me — and to keep up as I ask for more.
Ebbs and flows
Read moreI crave obsession the way others crave peace. Right now, I’m in one of those heightened periods, and the collateral damage is showing.
Blog sex
Read moreThere’s really very little in life that doesn’t involve my actually touching a woman that turns me on more than my words arousing.
Confidence
Read moreMy confidence is a surprisingly reliable barometer of my mental health — and my proximity to old, dark habits.
On (my) ego, or, warm nuts
Read moreFragile male ego, professional hierarchies, and the long slide from smartest-person-in-the-room to peon at the base of a smaller hill.
Hi, i’m n, and i’m an addict…
Read moreAm I a “sex addict”? Is there such a thing? Is it a meaningful term? One reader delights in calling me a sex addict. What do I have to say about it?
