Territory
The Interior
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Two flavors of shame
Read moreTwo flavors of shame — and neither is better, neither is harder.
Thoughts on what feels good (getting vs. having #3,245)
Read moreThe getting feels better than the having — and that realization explains more about me than I’m entirely comfortable with.
Monogamy and rejection
Read moreThe sting of rejection is a gift I’d never get if I were monogamous. I’m not sure I’d call it a gift I *want*, but it’s one I need.
The moth and the flame, continued
Read moreWhen a woman shows interest in me, my body goes into overdrive — and my judgment disappears.
Sex addiction
Read moreThe question of whether sex addiction is real is less interesting than what we’re really asking when we ask it.
Vicissitudes
Read moreThe women in my life come and go, and my mood rises and falls with them.
Desire
Read moreI never do anything so straightforward as simply wanting.
Reminiscing, or, narcissism
Read moreI re-read my own blog, and I liked it. But narcissism is more complicated than vanity — especially when your self-esteem hinges on whether you’re wanted, and how much, and by how many.
Finishing "shame"
Read moreI got a detail wrong about *Shame*, and in correcting it, I found a whole other movie hiding inside two minutes of Lucy Walters’s face.
Watching “shame” again – pleasure and joy
Read moreMichael Fassbender’s soulless, brilliant performance yanks my heart out — it captures so much of what I remember from that time in my life.
A great ass in leggings
Read moreWhat I think when I see a great ass in leggings is not what you might expect. It’s conceptual, not explicit — and that distinction may explain more about me than I’d like.
Sex scarcity
Read moreA man’s inarticulate defense of rape led me to a more honest reckoning with the frustration of sex scarcity — one that justifies nothing, but that nearly every straight man has felt.
The etiology of shame
Read moreWhere shame comes from, and why I need it.
Loneliness and rejection
Read moreI tossed off a quick answer about loneliness, then spent the next few hours realizing I was wrong about myself — and tracing the line from rejection to shame to paying for the very rejection I was trying to escape.
I’m an expert at time management
Read moreNeed help with time management? Hire an addict. We juggle more logistics before breakfast than most people do all week.
Secrets and lies
Read moreOn secrecy, privacy, parental spying, and Edward Snowden.
Creep shots revisited (again)
Read moreI struggle with whether creep shots are violating of women’s privacy. I decide to behave as if they are, but I remain unconvinced….
I want you to want me
Read moreA subtle but important distinction about the nature of my desire.
On narcissism
Read moreA loyal reader’s compliment sends me down a predictable rabbit hole: am I endlessly self-reflective, or just endlessly self-absorbed?
On men
Read moreMy cock’s in Mary-Anne’s mouth, but my mind’s on Jeff. What’s that about?
