Territory
The Interior
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Sex addiction – a primer
Read moreMy evolving opinions on a diagnosis that doesn’t actually exist.
The hydraulics of rejection
Read moreRejection makes me want a blow job from a stranger and a cigarette, in that order. Instead, I’m just sitting here, feeling it.
Plenty
Read moreThe volatile narcissism of self-esteem: how quickly I can swing from buoyant to bereft, and back again, all on the evidence of women’s desire.
My most frequent visitors
Read moreA roll call of my most devoted readers, and a nakedly narcissistic plea to know what keeps them coming back.
(im)mortality
Read moreMy brain would rather be anywhere but here — planning dinner, rehearsing catastrophes, fantasizing — as if the present moment were the one place it can’t bear to stay.
I like a woman who needs my cock
Read moreThe title pretty much says it.
Two flavors of shame
Read moreTwo flavors of shame — and neither is better, neither is harder.
Thoughts on what feels good (getting vs. having #3,245)
Read moreThe getting feels better than the having — and that realization explains more about me than I’m entirely comfortable with.
Monogamy and rejection
Read moreThe sting of rejection is a gift I’d never get if I were monogamous. I’m not sure I’d call it a gift I *want*, but it’s one I need.
The moth and the flame, continued
Read moreWhen a woman shows interest in me, my body goes into overdrive — and my judgment disappears.
Sex addiction
Read moreThe question of whether sex addiction is real is less interesting than what we’re really asking when we ask it.
Vicissitudes
Read moreThe women in my life come and go, and my mood rises and falls with them.
Desire
Read moreI never do anything so straightforward as simply wanting.
Reminiscing, or, narcissism
Read moreI re-read my own blog, and I liked it. But narcissism is more complicated than vanity — especially when your self-esteem hinges on whether you’re wanted, and how much, and by how many.
Finishing "shame"
Read moreI got a detail wrong about *Shame*, and in correcting it, I found a whole other movie hiding inside two minutes of Lucy Walters’s face.
Watching “shame” again – pleasure and joy
Read moreMichael Fassbender’s soulless, brilliant performance yanks my heart out — it captures so much of what I remember from that time in my life.
A great ass in leggings
Read moreWhat I think when I see a great ass in leggings is not what you might expect. It’s conceptual, not explicit — and that distinction may explain more about me than I’d like.
Sex scarcity
Read moreA man’s inarticulate defense of rape led me to a more honest reckoning with the frustration of sex scarcity — one that justifies nothing, but that nearly every straight man has felt.
The etiology of shame
Read moreWhere shame comes from, and why I need it.
Loneliness and rejection
Read moreI tossed off a quick answer about loneliness, then spent the next few hours realizing I was wrong about myself — and tracing the line from rejection to shame to paying for the very rejection I was trying to escape.