Territory
The Interior
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I often seem to misunderstand
Read moreTinder is teaching me that not everyone treats interactions — virtual or otherwise — as real. I do, and it stings when that’s not reciprocated.
Pleasing me
Read moreToo much eagerness to please me is, paradoxically, a turnoff. I have some theories about why.
Farewell to sofia
Read moreShe never once tripped the wire of my fragile desire, and now she’s gone.
Abandonment on tinder
Read moreShe showed me everything, promised me more, and then vanished — not even a goodbye, just the silent void of a disappeared Tinder thread.
Soullessness
Read moreA man at the bottom of a stairway, looking up. I saw myself in him.
Rough sex, cognitive dissonance, and acting
Read moreI’m exquisitely dominant, but roughness doesn’t come naturally — I go to great lengths to protect the women I fuck from my anger, and I want to understand why.
Stopping shame in its tracks
Read moreA twelve-year-old boy, a closet, a cousin with breasts, and the indelible shame of getting caught — plus some thoughts on what we owe the teenage boys who do creepy things.
Muscle memory
Read moreDescending a particular stairway at a particular subway station, I didn’t remember how I used to feel. I felt it.
Rejection and writing
Read moreThree rejections in one day, and I went to a coffee shop instead of a massage parlor.
“thanks for sharing”
Read moreAcid indigestion, Netflix, and a grimly puritanical movie about sex addiction that gets a lot right and a few things painfully wrong.
Two dimensions of peril
Read moreSofia’s right: I really am difficult. The two dangers of being desired — having instead of getting, and being wanted in the wrong amount.
L is back
Read moreThe woman who inspired this blog is having an affair again — just not with me, and not the honest kind.
“an admitted sex addict”
Read moreI don’t call myself a sex addict, though others seem happy to do it for me. A fellow blogger asks whether her own obsessive thinking about sex makes her one too — and I have some thoughts.
The lady vanishes (or, “kids today….”)
Read morePoof. She was simply gone from my list. The kids today….
A thought to ponder
Read moreAdam Phillips, on the futility of sexual jealousy.
Anger
Read moreFor me, anger is never primary. It’s always protecting me from something else — usually fear.
Shame
Read moreShame lives in my body — hot, constricting, brutal. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Rejection – in the other direction
Read moreI’ve written a lot about being rejected, but what about when I’m the one doing the rejecting? It happens less often than you’d think, and more awkwardly than I’d like.
Farewell to the amazon
Read moreThe Amazon says goodbye, and tells me about the man who owns her pussy.
Desire as a public good
Read moreThe things I want from the women in my life are remarkably consistent, and that consistency can feel, to each of them, like a diminishment.
