Territory
The Interior
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Muscle memory
Read moreDescending a particular stairway at a particular subway station, I didn’t remember how I used to feel. I felt it.
Rejection and writing
Read moreThree rejections in one day, and I went to a coffee shop instead of a massage parlor.
“thanks for sharing”
Read moreAcid indigestion, Netflix, and a grimly puritanical movie about sex addiction that gets a lot right and a few things painfully wrong.
Two dimensions of peril
Read moreSofia’s right: I really am difficult. The two dangers of being desired — having instead of getting, and being wanted in the wrong amount.
L is back
Read moreThe woman who inspired this blog is having an affair again — just not with me, and not the honest kind.
“an admitted sex addict”
Read moreI don’t call myself a sex addict, though others seem happy to do it for me. A fellow blogger asks whether her own obsessive thinking about sex makes her one too — and I have some thoughts.
The lady vanishes (or, “kids today….”)
Read morePoof. She was simply gone from my list. The kids today….
A thought to ponder
Read moreAdam Phillips, on the futility of sexual jealousy.
Anger
Read moreFor me, anger is never primary. It’s always protecting me from something else — usually fear.
Shame
Read moreShame lives in my body — hot, constricting, brutal. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Rejection – in the other direction
Read moreI’ve written a lot about being rejected, but what about when I’m the one doing the rejecting? It happens less often than you’d think, and more awkwardly than I’d like.
Farewell to the amazon
Read moreThe Amazon says goodbye, and tells me about the man who owns her pussy.
Desire as a public good
Read moreThe things I want from the women in my life are remarkably consistent, and that consistency can feel, to each of them, like a diminishment.
Lust-based decisions
Read moreLust is like TV: it can educate, divert, or rot your soul. The trick is knowing which channel you’re on.
Presumptuous
Read moreI called Angela a slut, imagined her fucking other guys, and managed to turn my own fear of rejection into an insult. I owe her an apology.
Narcissism, from a different angle
Read moreA Playboy mention, some flattering analytics, and a meditation on what happens when strangers actually stick around.
Sex addiction – a primer
Read moreMy evolving opinions on a diagnosis that doesn’t actually exist.
The hydraulics of rejection
Read moreRejection makes me want a blow job from a stranger and a cigarette, in that order. Instead, I’m just sitting here, feeling it.
Plenty
Read moreThe volatile narcissism of self-esteem: how quickly I can swing from buoyant to bereft, and back again, all on the evidence of women’s desire.
My most frequent visitors
Read moreA roll call of my most devoted readers, and a nakedly narcissistic plea to know what keeps them coming back.
