I feel it.

Sometimes more, sometimes less.

It’s a bodily sensation, located high up in my chest, almost in my throat. It’s a tightness, a constriction.

My solar plexus clenches.

My shoulders seem to hunch forward.

My neck compresses, my head strains not to be downward-facing.

It has a temperature – hot. But it’s not the kind of heat that counters cold. It’s more like the kind of heat that singes.

It has a vibrating quality. Not the kind of vibration that’s soothing, like a train. But the kind that’s jarring, like an earthquake.

It’s brutal.

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

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