Territory
The Interior
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Being liked
Read moreHow I relate to how I’m perceived.
Sex addiction
Read moreWhat is the value in arguing about the concept of sex addiction?
Object permanence
Read moreWhy peek-a-boo, and blindfolds, are, or can be, fun. But also why they can be over-stimulating.
More disappearances
Read moreThe catalogue of disappearing women continues.
Anger revisited
Read moreUpon examination, my anger almost always dissolves into fear.
Reality
Read moreA disastrous date, one that illustrates just how insane I am.
Anger and loss
Read moreI’m in pain, with little hope of relief. Ever. And it seems to be producing some intense emotions in me.
Disappointment
Read moreIt seems I won’t get to consummate my fantasies with Lida. I haz a sad.
Rage
Read moreWhat my anger feels like, what it does.
Porcelain doll update
Read moreOnce a john, always a john?
Death and my cock
Read moreMy surprising strategy to fend off fears of death – mine or others – is to feel my cock grow hard.
Procrastination and fear
Read moreWhy do I procrastinate? Because I’m scared.
Anger at women
Read moreI definitely have anger issues toward women. Here’s how they work, and how paying for sex fits in.
An interesting take on sex addiction
Read moreAn interesting take on sex addiction that resonates with me.
The five hindrances
Read moreA sex addict meditates on the five hindrances. Guess which one predominates.
Stalking veronique
Read moreI loiter on her block, phone in hand, one eye on the screen and one on the passers-by, hoping for something I’ve agreed not to pursue.
More thoughts about rejection, and the porcelain doll
Read moreRejection stings worst when it echoes old wounds. My readers let me know I had my head up my ass, and they weren’t wrong.
Porcelain doll
Read moreShe looked like a porcelain doll — red lips, red hair, pale skin. I thought we’d become friends. Turns out I’d only ever been a customer.
Dates vs. sure things
Read moreMost of my dates are sure things. This one won’t be, and that means something much scarier than not getting laid: the possibility of being rejected not for my looks, but for *me*.
Fear of rejection, and shame
Read moreThe distance between who I am online and who I am in the world protects me from more than I like to admit.
