Territory
The Interior
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Life
Read moreWhat’s going on? I’m seeking – and finding abandonment. And I’m tolerating it.
A few thoughts on donald trump (and not just the ones you might expect)
Read moreWhat’s a bigger threat to the US? Donald Trump? Or the tactics of the anti-Trump movement? I’m genuinely uncertain.
Easy come, easy go?
Read moreIn the end, Nastya made me feel unimportant. Not exactly undesired, just not prioritized, somehow disrespected. And so I ended things. Or let her end them. I’m not sure which.
Speaking the unspeakable (redux)
Read moreI went to a bar mitzvah and had thoughts I couldn’t un-have.
Anger
Read moreI’m angry.
Rejection and abandonment
Read moreAn examination of all of the sensations associated with rejected or abandoned. Or imagining I have been.
My wish list
Read moreI’m an attention whore. I really like attention. Also, things, ideas, suggestions, stuff.
Being liked
Read moreHow I relate to how I’m perceived.
Sex addiction
Read moreWhat is the value in arguing about the concept of sex addiction?
Object permanence
Read moreWhy peek-a-boo, and blindfolds, are, or can be, fun. But also why they can be over-stimulating.
More disappearances
Read moreThe catalogue of disappearing women continues.
Anger revisited
Read moreUpon examination, my anger almost always dissolves into fear.
Reality
Read moreA disastrous date, one that illustrates just how insane I am.
Anger and loss
Read moreI’m in pain, with little hope of relief. Ever. And it seems to be producing some intense emotions in me.
Disappointment
Read moreIt seems I won’t get to consummate my fantasies with Lida. I haz a sad.
Rage
Read moreWhat my anger feels like, what it does.
Porcelain doll update
Read moreOnce a john, always a john?
Death and my cock
Read moreMy surprising strategy to fend off fears of death – mine or others – is to feel my cock grow hard.
Procrastination and fear
Read moreWhy do I procrastinate? Because I’m scared.
Anger at women
Read moreI definitely have anger issues toward women. Here’s how they work, and how paying for sex fits in.
