Territory
The Interior
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Rejection
Read moreWhen you reject me, am I rejected? What lessons do I draw from my rejection? What is the meaning of my rejection? And is the rejection mine? Or yours?
Staying alive
Read moreI’m thinking about the strategies I have for making myself feel alive, when I’m struggling with a feeling of deadness. And I’m revisiting my past.
Fear
Read moreTrump has no tolerance for disrespect of him, high tolerance for hatred in his name. Steve Bannon threatens fifty years of Trump, and enthuses “it will be as exciting as the 1930s.” I’m scared.
The best sex blog
Read moreApparently, this blog is NOT one of the 100 best sex blogs. At least according to one subjective ranking.
Activating desire
Read moreWhy is it that what turns me on at the moment is images of women’s thighs and cunts, videos of women masturbating, coming?
Life
Read moreWhat’s going on? I’m seeking – and finding abandonment. And I’m tolerating it.
A few thoughts on donald trump (and not just the ones you might expect)
Read moreWhat’s a bigger threat to the US? Donald Trump? Or the tactics of the anti-Trump movement? I’m genuinely uncertain.
Easy come, easy go?
Read moreIn the end, Nastya made me feel unimportant. Not exactly undesired, just not prioritized, somehow disrespected. And so I ended things. Or let her end them. I’m not sure which.
Speaking the unspeakable (redux)
Read moreI went to a bar mitzvah and had thoughts I couldn’t un-have.
Anger
Read moreI’m angry.
Rejection and abandonment
Read moreAn examination of all of the sensations associated with rejected or abandoned. Or imagining I have been.
My wish list
Read moreI’m an attention whore. I really like attention. Also, things, ideas, suggestions, stuff.
Being liked
Read moreHow I relate to how I’m perceived.
Sex addiction
Read moreWhat is the value in arguing about the concept of sex addiction?
Object permanence
Read moreWhy peek-a-boo, and blindfolds, are, or can be, fun. But also why they can be over-stimulating.
More disappearances
Read moreThe catalogue of disappearing women continues.
Anger revisited
Read moreUpon examination, my anger almost always dissolves into fear.
Reality
Read moreA disastrous date, one that illustrates just how insane I am.
Anger and loss
Read moreI’m in pain, with little hope of relief. Ever. And it seems to be producing some intense emotions in me.
Disappointment
Read moreIt seems I won’t get to consummate my fantasies with Lida. I haz a sad.