Territory
The Interior
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Making a meal of hope
Read moreI find my head unexpectedly between Hope’s thick, muscular thighs.
Hope’s orgasms – and her thighs
Read moreSoon, I will be with Hope. I can’t fucking wait.
Stats
Read moreWhy don’t more people read this blog?
First impressions, again
Read moreWhen women disappoint me once, they almost always do it again. And again. And again. And still? I keep going back for more. Though less than before.
More on loss – and fear
Read moreMy crazy experience of loss and fear.
Polyamory and loss
Read moreDoes polyamory protect against loss? I think not….
Implosion and explosion
Read moreMeditating helps. The addict’s mind in the face of pain and loss….
Jealousy?
Read moreWhat I call jealousy is really something more primitive — the fear that I’ve simply ceased to exist in your mind.
Over-determined
Read morePoor decision-making on my part.
A realization
Read moreLiving in fear of the past….
Mining for disappointment
Read moreCharlotte lifts her dress for me, and I manage to be… disappointed?!?
Charlotte is good to me
Read moreCharlotte wants to come. She forgets that she – in the current configuration – comes for ME.
Moth/flame
Read moreI fly toward flames — jealousy, rejection, abandonment — and then wonder why I’m singed. Charlotte and I are working out the terms of our burning.
Charlotte has a threesome (without me)
Read moreCharlotte had her second threesome.
Episode 9: postscript (version 2 – outtakes)
Read moreEvery silver lining has a cloud. The alcohol got away from me at the end, and what had been a truly spectacular day ended sloppily.
Thinking thinking thinking
Read moreFumbling our way forward, Charlotte and I….
Episode 9: the aftermath
Read moreComing apart, just a little, afterwards….
On being stood up
Read moreIn which I’m stood up by a woman I’ve yet to meet.
Suffering abandonment
Read moreCharlotte’s leaving me – at least for an evening. And, good girl that she is, she’s taking care of me in her absence. But it’s NOT easy.
Sharing submission
Read moreMaking myself comfortable in the face of loss and abandonment.
