Territory
The Interior
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Narcissistic asshat (i)
Read moreI am, according to Tamora, a narcissistic asshat. :-/
Slowly slowly
Read moreThe workings of my sexual response cycle.
A few random thoughts on anger
Read moreThinking about fucking. And anger. Mostly, anger.
On being cucked
Read moreCharlotte’s gonna get fucked. And I feel safe.
Safety. danger. play.
Read morePlaying on the knife’s edge between safety and danger is where the fun is.
Lament
Read moreI feel shitty. Oh so shitty.
Envy vs. jealousy, #27
Read moreI get confused about which is which.
Forgiveness
Read moreThe loss of my best friend.
Stats
Read moreWhy don’t more people read this blog?
First impressions, again
Read moreWhen women disappoint me once, they almost always do it again. And again. And again. And still? I keep going back for more. Though less than before.
More on loss – and fear
Read moreMy crazy experience of loss and fear.
Polyamory and loss
Read moreDoes polyamory protect against loss? I think not….
Implosion and explosion
Read moreMeditating helps. The addict’s mind in the face of pain and loss….
Jealousy?
Read moreWhat I call jealousy is really something more primitive — the fear that I’ve simply ceased to exist in your mind.
Over-determined
Read morePoor decision-making on my part.
A realization
Read moreLiving in fear of the past….
Charlotte is good to me
Read moreCharlotte wants to come. She forgets that she – in the current configuration – comes for ME.
Moth/flame
Read moreI fly toward flames — jealousy, rejection, abandonment — and then wonder why I’m singed. Charlotte and I are working out the terms of our burning.
Charlotte has a threesome (without me)
Read moreCharlotte had her second threesome.
Episode 9: postscript (version 2 – outtakes)
Read moreEvery silver lining has a cloud. The alcohol got away from me at the end, and what had been a truly spectacular day ended sloppily.
