Territory
The Interior
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Overwhelmed by ai, drafts, and the end of the blog era
Read moreI’m producing more work than ever thanks to AI, but I’m overwhelmed by unfinished drafts, a sense of online obsolescence, and my own mortality.
Alive vs. dead
Read moreI’ve been investing in myself with more solitary, even solipsistic, forms of sex and sexuality. Maybe this is a little bit about my growing older… All I know is that there’s a distinct shift and ebbing.
Ghosts
Read moreI hate being ghosted. It shakes my sense of connection, judgment, and even cosmology.
The cost of taking care
Read moreDespite transforming my relationship to food and fitness over decades, maintaining my body now feels like an exhausting and resented obsession.
The evolution of my fantasies
Read moreI’ve entereda new developmental phase: fantasizing about scenarios that can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t happen.
Reflections on mortality and vitality
Read moreFourteen years since climbing out of the wreckage, and I’ve never felt more alive—despite the limp, the pain, the aging. Death is a constant companion, sure, but so is desire, vitality, absurd good fortune, and the bittersweet weight of knowing I’m right at the peak.
Rumi
Read moreRumi knew something about desire.
Navigating sadness and beauty in midlife
Read moreI grapple with pervasive sadness about aging, beauty, and desire.
Dominance, dubmission, and new dating dynamics
Read moreAfter years of D/s relationships, my presumptuous and demanding habits are causing missteps as I start dating older, more experienced women.
Cunt dreams
Read moreJust what is it I’m scared of? Same old same old…. Shame. Abandonment. Loss.
Ashamed – of what?!?
Read moreWhy is it so shameful to be caught masturbating?
Commuting
Read moreAn appreciation for the thrill of being tossed around like a rag doll.
What i’m feeling
Read moreA rough morning.
Sadness and porn
Read moreLooking at porn to feel sad.
Parking
Read moreA parking dispute….
Ghosting
Read moreAn open letter to a woman who disappeared.
How can i make it up to you? (reflective version)
Read moreA slightly more reflective reflection on how Serena can make it up to me
How can i make it up to you?
Read moreMy feelings were hurt
Catalog of disappointment
Read moreI revisit the same disappointment over and over, with woman after woman. Today alone, I managed it half a dozen times.
Missing serena
Read moreI’m a block from Serena, and I’m not going to tell her.
