I experience connections as deep and real, but they end not in intentional closure but in disappearance. This is my compulsive repetition of courting and failing to avoid abandonment.

I struggle to accept the loss of women in my life, a pattern rooted in losing my mother repeatedly.

I hate being ghosted. It shakes my sense of connection, judgment, and even cosmology.

An open letter to a woman who disappeared.

I find that if I mine my interactions with, and feelings about, various women in my life, I can learn a lot of interesting stuff. Mostly around my fear and uncertainty in dating.

Milica complies with a request.

Milica’s account of a recent Zoom date we had.

Milica asked me why I like to see women coming in clothes. I answered.

A paean to the remarkable, striking, Milica. And, a portrait of her personality.

In which – in the company of Charlotte and Milica, I make my first visit to a sex club since the pandemic.