My story – My Dissolute Life

Contested history, memory, and the body

Another part of my mother’s abandonment of me, of my loss of safety.

Some of my thoughts about WHY I want the things I want.

My second mid-life crisis, in some greater detail.

Does sex addiction exist? Am I a sex addict? Was I a sex addict? Does it even matter what words I use to describe my experience?

I’m reminded of one of the women with whom I had a relationship back in my CPOS days. I was[…]

The very first porn I remember seeing was in a friend’s “clubhouse.” Ironically, the magazine was a “Club.” This friend[…]

I used to imagine that there was a simple explanation. To anything. To everything. I imagined, for example, that there[…]

There is one thing in life I fear more than anything else. One feeling worse than any other: the pang[…]

Even more than sex, or commercial sex, during my days of “addiction,” I was compelled by web sites about sex,[…]

I remember walking into the Harmony Theater. As I approached, my heart would beat a little more quickly. Adrenaline would[…]