Territory
The Interior
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On desiring, being desired
Read moreI want, and I want to be wanted — but not too much, and only if I might not be.
Getting and having
Read moreJust like a toddler, what I want isn’t to have — it’s to get.
Love and desire
Read moreDesire is to getting as love is to having. And getting is always better than having.
My quest for rejection, my discomfort with acceptance
Read moreI’m unnervingly talented at engineering the rejection I claim to fear most.
Ratings
Read moreTell me what you like. Tell me what you don’t. Just hit the stars — no interaction required.
Shame, apologies, amends
Read moreI was ashamed of the wrong things, and I lied without knowing I was lying.
Special redux, redux
Read moreI don’t just want you. I want you to want everything I want, for me — and to keep up as I ask for more.
Ebbs and flows
Read moreI crave obsession the way others crave peace. Right now, I’m in one of those heightened periods, and the collateral damage is showing.
Blog sex
Read moreThere’s really very little in life that doesn’t involve my actually touching a woman that turns me on more than my words arousing.
Confidence
Read moreMy confidence is a surprisingly reliable barometer of my mental health — and my proximity to old, dark habits.
On (my) ego, or, warm nuts
Read moreFragile male ego, professional hierarchies, and the long slide from smartest-person-in-the-room to peon at the base of a smaller hill.
Hi, i’m n, and i’m an addict…
Read moreAm I a “sex addict”? Is there such a thing? Is it a meaningful term? One reader delights in calling me a sex addict. What do I have to say about it?
Sex and death
Read moreWhat if what I’ve always understood as infinite desire is actually infinite fear?
Sex addiction?
Read moreI’m not addicted to sex, but I sure behaved like an addict.
Forgiveness, part 2 (or 3, depending on how you’re counting)
Read moreForgiveness isn’t something we do. It’s something that happens to us — if we let it.
Some days…
Read moreSome days I’m just horny — not in the old, addicted, craving-the-whole-dark-package way, but in the plain old healthy, no-relief-in-sight way.
Relative relapses
Read moreNot all relapses are created equal. Some cost you an hour and a difficult conversation; others cost you your life.
The way my mind works
Read moreTwenty-eight pages in one sitting. I don’t know you, person in Miami, but you just made my day.
Sex addiction
Read moreSome thoughts about sex addiction.
Compulsive massage (part 1)
Read moreA granular deconstruction of the ritual of visiting massage parlors — from the craving, to the wave of inevitability, to the Blackberry full of taxonomies.
