Territory
The Interior
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Envy
Read moreT had a date. I stayed home, meditated, and sat with the ugly progression of emotions that followed.
Shame
Read moreI was raised in shame, and lived most of my life there. I’m finding my way out, slowly.
On t (part 1)
Read moreThis blog creates a distorted picture of me as a hypersexual free agent. The truth is far more complicated, and far more interesting, and it starts with T.
Questions about swing clubs, and le trapeze
Read moreA reader has questions about Le Trapeze, sex addiction, and going to a swing club while pregnant. I have answers.
On strip clubs
Read moreStrip clubs, sex addiction, smugness, and a visit to New York Dolls.
Four ways of looking at jealousy (apologies to wallace stevens)
Read moreJealousy, for me, boils down to the fear that I don’t exist — and that a woman holds the power to confirm it.
Further thoughts on creep shots
Read moreIn which I decide that maybe, just maybe, taking non-consensual photos of people might be problematic. Thanks to the thoughtful comments of readers of this blog.
On blogging, and my narcissism
Read moreMy first impulse, when I learn I’ve hurt someone, is narcissistic: I’m less upset about the pain I caused than about being perceived as wrong.
Sex tips for the repressed – part 1
Read moreNot the sex tips you’ll find everywhere else — these are for people trapped in shame, not people looking to spice things up in the bedroom.
Paying for it
Read moreA graphic novel about being a john, found on a neighbor’s doorstep — and what it gets right, and wrong, about the humanity of paying for sex.
Rejection
Read moreShe wanted the offer, not the items on offer.
Special, redux
Read moreThe perils of being a slut who writes about it: everyone feels special to me, but the blog makes everyone look the same.
The beginning of the end
Read moreFor years, I never fucked another woman — not out of principle, but because fucking was never the thing I wanted. Then that started to change.
Blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs….
Read moreCraigsList, hotel rooms, and the education of a sexually self-aware man, one blowjob at a time.
My second first paid blowjob
Read moreThis is the story of my second first paid blowjob. It began with a massage, and she wanted my cock in her mouth…
Blowjob in a dark room
Read moreMy first paid blowjob involved a bait-and-switch, a dark room, and a technique that should be patented.
The stories i told myself, the lies i believed
Read moreThe elaborate fictions I constructed to make sense of behavior that made no sense — brave explorer and pathetic loser, coexisting without reconciliation.
Too much of a good thing
Read moreToo much is never enough?
My first “happy ending”
Read moreA Saturday afternoon, a Village Voice, and a pay phone: the mechanics of my first paid sexual encounter.
Down the rabbit hole
Read moreMy origin story, retold — how lap dances, fear of rejection, and an endless appetite for contact sent me down a path I’m still mapping.
