Dear Milica,
I don’t know what to say.
When last we spoke, you made promises to me that not only did you not keep, but they were followed by your ghosting me. This could be because of health reasons. It could be because of relationship reasons. It could simply be about your ambivalence about me. I don’t know.
What I do know is that I worry about you. I worry about your health. I worry about your well-being.
And, I’m angry. Angry you left me in this space where I have to imagine possible explanations for your disappearance, none of which are good, but at least one of which is objectively really awful.
Did you disappear because your health took a turn for the worse? That’s awful. I sure hope that wasn’t the explanation.
Did you disappear because your relationship took off? Honestly, that’s not so much better. You couldn’t exert the effort to say, “Hey, I know I promised to be in touch, but things changed and I think I’d like to bring things to a close”?
Or maybe you simply decided that whatever it is I have to offer you isn’t that appealing. If you’re there, too, why not communicate it to me?
You left me in an uncomfortable, anxious, concerned, worried, vulnerable place. While of course I want you back, painfully, more than that, I just want to know that you’re okay.
Honestly, I think my preferred answer would be, I’m fine, life is good, I’m busy, I don’t have space for you right now, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that. That would be the best answer.
But whatever the answer is, I’d like to know.
And, ideally, at least to remove your health from my current lengthy list of worries.