Territory
The Interior
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I want…
Read moreI want something. And something I don’t.
Loneliness
Read moreNo amount of companionship touches it. It’s not a lack; it’s a disability.
Dating, rejection, abandonment
Read moreI had a great date, and then, I found myself confronting how much I fucking hate rejection and abandoment. Even as it’s not clear that either is happening.
Surfing relationships
Read moreBeing a sex blogger can be hard, but it’s rewarding, in often surprising and complicated ways.
On not writing
Read moreYou can’t ever get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find… you get what you need. And I need.
Meditation, or, a story of perception
Read moreOn a meditation retreat, I come face to face with my warped perceptions and projections.
On getting my cock sucked
Read moreI got my cock sucked, and a woman I’d never met was unhappy about it.
What awaits you
Read moreIf I don’t get what I want, it makes me angry. And when I get angry, I get rougher. Is it good for me to get in touch with my anger? You tell me….
Sex addiction
Read moreDoes sex addiction exist? Am I a sex addict? Was I a sex addict? Does it even matter what words I use to describe my experience?
Quick date
Read moreIt was a Tinder date. I wasn’t especially optimistic, and, it turns out, I had good reason not to be especially optimistic. I really should trust my gut.
To life
Read moreWe all have things that make us feel alive, that remind us of our vitality, of our connection to the universe. Here are some of those things of mine.
Rejection
Read moreWhen you reject me, am I rejected? What lessons do I draw from my rejection? What is the meaning of my rejection? And is the rejection mine? Or yours?
Staying alive
Read moreI’m thinking about the strategies I have for making myself feel alive, when I’m struggling with a feeling of deadness. And I’m revisiting my past.
Fear
Read moreTrump has no tolerance for disrespect of him, high tolerance for hatred in his name. Steve Bannon threatens fifty years of Trump, and enthuses “it will be as exciting as the 1930s.” I’m scared.
The best sex blog
Read moreApparently, this blog is NOT one of the 100 best sex blogs. At least according to one subjective ranking.
Activating desire
Read moreWhy is it that what turns me on at the moment is images of women’s thighs and cunts, videos of women masturbating, coming?
Life
Read moreWhat’s going on? I’m seeking – and finding abandonment. And I’m tolerating it.
A few thoughts on donald trump (and not just the ones you might expect)
Read moreWhat’s a bigger threat to the US? Donald Trump? Or the tactics of the anti-Trump movement? I’m genuinely uncertain.
Easy come, easy go?
Read moreIn the end, Nastya made me feel unimportant. Not exactly undesired, just not prioritized, somehow disrespected. And so I ended things. Or let her end them. I’m not sure which.
Speaking the unspeakable (redux)
Read moreI went to a bar mitzvah and had thoughts I couldn’t un-have.
