Tinder

I don’t disappear on people. I say good-bye. I wish more people extended me the same courtesy.

Listen, as Penelope comes for me.

Facebook wants to tell your friends you use Tinder. You might want to do something about that.

Facebook and Tinder have teamed up to deny me the right to exist anonymously in their ecosystem, and I’m annoyed — even if my dance card is, at the moment, full.

I hate it when Tinder decides I’m undesirable. Not when WOMEN on Tinder decide it, but when the app itself does.

A turbo-slut, a Tinder match, and the inevitable trajectory from first message to leaving the bar.

Poof. She was simply gone from my list. The kids today….

On Tinder, I lead with something vaguely suggestive and slightly funny — and I mean every formulaic word of it.

My three approaches to swiping on Tinder, from mindless to attentive — none of which, it turns out, makes much difference.

A guy with a rule-violating Tinder profile offers unsolicited advice to women about theirs.