Loss

I never used to cry, but now, I dry at the drop of the hat. Here’s what’s made me cry the last couple of days.

I use dominance and submission to achieve an elusive sense of safety.

Impermanence is the one constant. And Marina has reminded me of this.

Maybe Marina isn’t so brutal and sadistic after all…. Maybe I am the brutal, sadistic one.

Traveling through Europe with my father at thirteen or fourteen: our itinerary took us to Hungary, among other places, and on a day-long bus tour in the hills of Buda. We watched some sort of “authentic” folkloric performance – for…

I’m in pain, with little hope of relief. Ever. And it seems to be producing some intense emotions in me.

She’s gone, and I’m sad. I lost her a month or so ago, and I’ve been holding off on writing this in part, I suppose, because I was hoping I’d get her back. But it seems I won’t. At least…