Territory
The Social World
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Paean
Read moreImperfection can be hot.
Sex scarcity
Read moreA man’s inarticulate defense of rape led me to a more honest reckoning with the frustration of sex scarcity — one that justifies nothing, but that nearly every straight man has felt.
Sofia’s way – note from a distant buddy
Read moreSofia describes, in her own words, how she went from blog reader to distant buddy — and what, exactly, she wanted from me all along.
The etiology of shame
Read moreWhere shame comes from, and why I need it.
Imagine
Read moreA woman on a train, and the stories I tell myself about her.
Loneliness and rejection
Read moreI tossed off a quick answer about loneliness, then spent the next few hours realizing I was wrong about myself — and tracing the line from rejection to shame to paying for the very rejection I was trying to escape.
Superiority
Read moreNavigating the minefield of CraigsList couples, where clarifying your sexual preferences can earn you a lecture on hetero-normativity from a former burlesque dancer.
Paean – contrasts
Read moreA woman on the subway, covered from chin to ankle, and the Aerie bag in her lap.
Paean
Read moreTwo pretty brunettes on the subway, each lost in her phone, each oblivious to the world — until one accidentally touches the other.
Lessons in commercial sex
Read moreSome hard-won lessons about lying, value, and the different games men and women play at the juncture of sex and money.
Paean
Read moreA young woman walks ahead of me, and I am grateful for every step.
Paean – not mine
Read moreA friend’s contribution: an ode to a woman on a bus, written with the precision of someone who notices everything and says nothing.
Paean
Read moreShe’s not perfect, but she’s perfect for me.
Paean
Read moreA short, curvy woman on the subway, and everything I noticed.
Paean
Read moreShe’s standing at the pastry case, but she’s not just evaluating pastries.
Truth and memory at a sex party (stag at a sex party, part 2)
Read moreMemory is unreliable. Sex parties, doubly so.
Stag at a sex party, part 1
Read moreMy first time at a sex party was a letdown. My most recent time, I arrived in a very different place.
Online dating and personals
Read moreWe don’t know what we want nearly as well as we think we do.
Elegy for p (first in a series)
Read moreShe disappeared slowly, then all at once. I miss her.
Paean
Read moreA woman in a peach sun dress.