Addiction

A disastrous date, one that illustrates just how insane I am.

It’s true. Days go by without my cock stiffening. For some, this would just be a curious deviation from the norm. For me, it’s like death. Honestly. If a day goes by and my cock doesn’t grow hard, I start…

“You really are difficult,” Sofia wrote to me. She’s right, of course. We were talking about how I respond to the sensation of being desired.

I was rejected today. Not by a woman, but in a completely non-sexual, comprehensive, totalizing – and damning – way. It’s striking to me – not new(s), but still striking – how powerful is my reflex in an instance like…

Blaming addicts for their addictions is unhelpful. It is not “true” to say that Philip Seymour Hoffman was selfish; it’s a judgment, a subjective claim. I was harsh in reply to something Dumb Domme – a super smart, very thoughtful,…

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death has hit me hard. Inexplicably so. Or maybe not so much so. Like he was, I’m an addict. To cigarettes and nicotine, for sure. And to sex, and secrecy, to the extent one can be addicted…

I was reading about addiction, and I stumbled on a TED-X talk by Glennon Doyle Melton, a writer with a blog, and the author of Carry On, Warrior, a book that seems mostly culled from her blog. I was intrigued…

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had two connections – with L and with V – that have been unlike anything previous in my life. (The relationship I had with the Historian was similar, structurally, though it was shorter,…

I’m a rat on crack. When you give me what I ask, I press the bar again: give me more. When you do as I say, I press the bar, again: do it again.

Approach, avoid continues, and I’m reminded of Poison – and my reaction to her. Poison, for those who missed her, is the woman who, years ago, set off the reaction that led to my understanding that I’m an addict. When…