Mostly I feel dead, and both my knees need replacing — then Margot, Jade, and an email from P out of the blue.

I can’t have this fantasy – Margot isn’t available unless I pay. So here are three versions of it anyway.

I experience connections as deep and real, but they end not in intentional closure but in disappearance. This is my compulsive repetition of courting and failing to avoid abandonment.

I struggle to accept the loss of women in my life, a pattern rooted in losing my mother repeatedly.

I fantasize about reuniting the women from last year’s sapphic soiree to create a better-directed reprise, even though the fantasy feels unrealistic.

A momentary lapse of reason about Serena.

A slightly more reflective reflection on how Serena can make it up to me

My feelings were hurt

Another in a series of posts on things I learned in my recent Sapphic Soiree.

Things get off to a great start.